Existence

Existence
2/28/2012

As one nears
the memory of
a time so distant.
The day allocated to remembering
when one took their first breath.
Did you laugh or cry?
Were you cute or silly?

No, you don't remember.
That day so long ago.
When the world was asked to wait
wait while you grew up.
Somedays you threw up.
Others you laughed and played.

Always your thoughts
were elsewhere, never here.
Never now.
They were always looking
looking for tomorrow.

As time went on and seemed to pass you by
you stood and wondered what it would be like to fly?
Still as a child,
the other kids, laughed, cried, and played.
While you were alone and dismayed.

The times seems so simple
there was nothing every wrong
and all was right.
No one could have possibly understood
your plight.
You were a child, one who's mind
had taken flight.
You left the confines of your body
to exist beyond space and time.
For when you were there
held in the confines of physical form
life was sour like a lime.

No one knew
where your mind flew.
No one knew why it flew.
Just take a breath and breathe a sigh.
For the life was a lie.

That life is dead.
There's nothing more to dread.
Yes, maybe some regrets.
These are things can never be corrected.
Maybe jealous of those gone on.
Maybe a little wishful thinking
of wishing what it'd be like
to exist in the great beyond.
Yet, so long ago.
You wanted nothing more to be
free from the cloak of childhood.
And, you wish
for the times when
For now just go curl up in your den.

Let the days go by.
Stop wondering why.
Stop dreaming  and wishing you could fly.
Let the todays go.
And use all that you know.

It maybe hard alone.
Yet, it's what you
learned to live by.
There's no other
that can truly understand
where it is you've been
where you've gone
what you've done
and where you wish to go.
So, for now,
just go with the flow.
Let time slip by.
and then maybe
you'll learn to fly.
And if not.
That's o.k. too.
For the tomorrows
may or may not be for you.
Yet, somehow,
you'll know what to do.

Unsettled!

Well, it's been awhile and this contains nothing more than a paragraph or two of just random thoughts and musings.....  I just wanted to say, I've been busy finishing up teaching and finally getting my life in order to write more.  I'm hoping to stay on track to finish my novel by June. I just put a brief amount of time into it this week and popped out 10 more pages or so.  So, yeah, I've got lots of ideas and everything is coming along very well.  I'm hoping to dedicate serious time to writing over the next couple of months to finish it. I've easily got another 200 pages or more of plot and story to write.  I've got the emotional energy and mental energy to put into it now, so it's best to take advantage of that and put a lot of effort into it.

Nothing too critical has happened in my life at this point.  I'm just proceeding to sit back, relax, and enjoy it some.  I hope to have more actual writing posted here.. I wanted you all to know that my next novel adventure will most likely be the zombie apocalypse.   I don't want to rehash any movie or any stories already done on zombies.  So, this will continue the zombie diaries short story, with new characters, possibly far into the future from when zombie diaries took place, and it will be a completely slightly more real take on zombies in general. My goal is to convey a mature well thought out theme, amidst a comedic, yet, serious backdrop.

But first, I have a Novel to finish. Unlike the Zombie Apocalypse, (or some variation of that), I haven't in all the time I've been writing this novel thought of a title for it.  For the one I'm writing right now.

I'm hoping to get it edited, have some cover artwork done, and post it as a cheap ebook on amazon. If I do, I will post the link here.

The Toy

The Toy
by Graywolf 2/22/2012.

Who am I to argue
with that which exists beyond time.
Nothing more than a top
a childs toy that twirls
when you spin me round and round.
pull my strings and I'll even dance too.
All the functions
all the technology of the most
advanced angelic toy that exists.
Do demons play with such childish
playthings as I?
Or is it just heaven and its angels?
Who am I to question
that which exists beyond all creation.
My limited understanding,
my feeble mind.
My foolish notion.

Kill me again and again,
What era will I live through next?
Or is this life a one time hex?
Will the next one be
the past or present.
Always moving towards the future,
but, do all exist at once?
so, next life I could exist
as the neanderthall
that I've been?

When does the game end,
when can I stop spinning?
When will no longer matter
who's winning?
Call a truce,
make peace,
Juse leave me somewhere
even the refuse
will do.

One time,
I was maybe shiny and new
then I no longer pleased you.
Now, like the rest
I'm stashed somewhere
wondering if I'll ever be out again
my durability to be put to the test.
So, await, the rest of my fate
with abated breath.
Wondering if this toy
will ever find life or death.