Not a lot to say peeps.  I have many thoughts and musings.  It's hard to sort them out into a coherent flow of words.  However, I do have something to say.  It's not something I'm going to describe. This one, each has to figure out for themselves and how it applies to each of you readers.

Well, I just finished writing this, and I will say something.  The harsh reality is that I've always had a knack for seeing past lies.  Maybe it's just my steadfast approach to reality. I don't know. I've just always dubbed myself a realist, a believer in the truth.  However, I kinda at some point overstepped and began to believe in denial and gave up my belief in the truth.  I instead embraced lies, embraced abuse, and embraced everything that was not healthy for me and existed so far outside of truth that my head almost lived in another dimension.  The dimension of lies. 

I don't know if that makes sense.  However, while my eyes were closed, while I denied the life I was living, while I lived in a veil.  I thought somehow that everything was easy.  I believed lie after lie.  I told myself lie after lie, and when I opened my eyes... the world unraveled before me and I realized I had lived in some form of fantasy.  And once again I embraced the truth.  I sent the lies away from me.   And now, as I look upon reality.  Family, friends, and those around me, I realize, many cannot handle my embracement of honesty.  It terrifies many. Causes many to run away.  They flee, fearing their reflection.

I guess we all, at one point or another, grow comfortable, and even defend our own denial, embracing our entrenched lies more than reality.  It's too bad.  Because you know what?  I'm a caring, loving, kind person.  My honesty is nothing more, than a reflection of life.  No, I don't go around stating brutally honest thoughts that are harmful.  Nor do I go around disguising the truth.   I say what's on my mind with complete respect and regard for others.  I point out the things that seem obvious to me.  Others, spend as much time trying to deny my perceptions.  I don't embrace I'm always right. I have sincerely embraced false things that I thought were truth.  Once proven wrong, I admit my mistake and move on.

Why do I write this, why do I spend all this time on the truth.  In all honesty.  I've lost a lot of friends to the truth.  they remained entrenched in denial and lies.  I hope that people can realize the truth sets us free.  It hurts sometimes, yes.  But, not as much as living in years and years of denial as I once did.   Don't get me wrong, I accept the years of denial I lived in as part of life's lesson to me. to learn the true value of the truth and the value of keeping one's eyes open to reality. 

One just have to be careful the belief in the truth doesn't become self defeating!! Which, is a complex way to state, I'm still learning how to value the truth, and at the same time just accept things as they are. The beauty of life, truth, reality, and simple perception for what they are as they are.

With all that said, here's my written expression...  Enjoy.


It
by Graywolf32 1/25/2012


Defines my reality,
it is indisputable.
It's the facts
that take us through life.
It's what, many times,
is behind our strife.
We find ways to hide it,
deny it,
cover it up.
run away from it.
Escape, flee!!!
It floods me.
It is me.
It is who I am.
And though,
even I have lived under a veil.
Have hidden it from my view.
It has been many years
since I've seen it's beauty.
Here it is before me, it is real.
It exists whether or not,
we each see it.
It exists whether or not we
care about it.
We can have all the money
all the power
all the ability
to deny it's reality.
Yet, it floods us with shame.
For it cannot be hidden.
Yet, it floods us with pain,
for it sometimes hurts.
It floods us with insanity
for sometimes, the lies are so easy!
Most are unable to handle it.
I live in it.
Most flee me, fear uncanny ability
to see what is right in front of me.
And as I point to it,
reflect it with my being,
as I live and bask in it,
embracing it,
many others want nothing to do with it.
They run, escape, deny.
Away they fly.
It's sad.
I shed a tear for their fear.
For it's power
is in freedom.
No longer bound by lies.
No longer bound by denial.
No longer bound by some cage
where I'm filled with rage.
My embrace has freed me.
Delivered me from suffering beyond imagination.
And though, few if any can handle
the reality in which I live.
I go on.
Unwilling to give up my faith, belief, and integrity
that which I hold sacred.
It has hurt.
It has caused pain.
It has not been in vain.

I can I make this anymore plain?
We run, we sprint, as fast as we can.
We try to flee
only it is reality.
we cannot escape it's embrace.
And we will always see it's face.
So, why deny it?
Why run from it?
why not embrace it?
I sometimes don't understance
when it's really so simple.
I will always embrace it.
It has set me free, liberating me from suffering.
And it is now joy and care I bring.
this isn't just some quick fling.
It just has a familiar ring.

I embrace truth.
It's not a game.
It's not something I do in shame.
I don't care about blame.
For, I only care about what is true.
Truth, why is it so complicated?
When it's so simple.