Balls!

Well, everyone, before I write this I just wanted to say hi to my fellow followers. I apologize to all of you that have been checking here now and then.   I haven't written much lately (of anything).  I've been busy, that's a bit of an understatement.  As it is I'm struggling to have the energy to get my class work done.  My career has been a bit of a disaster thanks to some changes that are keeping me walking on eggshells.  A lot of triggers there, considering my past personal relationship... 

Well, I have a person in my life that has been challenging me to think in new ways. She may or may not realize how much she challenges me, but, it's really refreshing to have someone that can challenge my thinking. Well, this is dedicated to the person that has challenged me.  We were playing pool Friday and she says to me, "isn't the game of pool like the game of life... You avoid the 8 ball until it's completely inevitable and then one must face it."  How many things in our life are like that 8 ball?  We bounce around from ball to ball, trying to find a way to avoid that 8 ball. then, after we've exhausted all the possibilities we end up one on one with that last ball. 

Coincidently this is a similar metaphor to the movie "The Gray".  When Liam is faced one on one with fighting off the metaphorical alpha wolf.  Most of us have that one thing we all have to face but do everything in our own power to avoid facing it.  It can be whatever it is.   I have had a lot of 8 balls in my life.  I'm proud to say that as they pop up I face them now.  Head on. I didn't used to. 

I dedicate this to my friend who has inspired this.  I dedicate this to all the people that read this. I know you all, whoever you are, have had things you don't wish to face and have a tough time struggling to face.  I dedicate this to the struggles of the human race.  May we face our "8 balls" together!

Balls!
by Graywolf 2/5/2012

Spinnning off upon the carpet of green
freely rolling from place to place.
Sometimes I feel so out of control.
Wondering where I next roll.
from ball to ball I hit.
Causing some strange cascading fit.
I sometimes wonder,
do the balls all roll away from me?
Or are they just rorganizing themselves?
Sometimes I run into you.
Sometimes I run into them.
Sometimes I just bounce off the sides.
I never know if I'm hitting solid or stripes.
I wish I knew where I was goin
and sometime I wish I knew my destination.
Sometimes I bask in knowing I'm just rolling around.
Someday, I may bump into you.
We share of ourselves for a brief moment in the universe.
It's that moment when our lives touch
just briefly.
Then we go on freely rolling our own way.
We all bounce around into each other.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm just a bother.
Yet, many of you have called me 'brother'.

Again, I go spinning as God's queue stick
pushes me into a new direction.
I bounce and roll and bounce some more.
I get to know a crowd for a moment
as it goes disbersing in its own directions.
Life is but a game.
I'm just a white ball that rolls around
with no claim to fame.
I wish I knew my goal, is it simply to
get some of you into God's pockets?
Or, am I simply to scratch?
I wish I knew how it is
I bounce around getting to know all
these awesome people.
Then I go on my way.
As I'm placed on the soft carpet of green.
I can never stay in the pocket too long.
My work is never ever done.
I go one.
From era to era, from time to time.
Putting the solids and stripes in God's pockets.
My life a testimony, my life a witness.
The angels all around look upon me and know
how things have been.
they know my end.
I see it in their eyes of brilliance.
I see the goal.
It's number a symbol for infinity.
It's single circle of white,
it knows my plight.
It stands there waiting.
Waiting for god to send me spinning into it's circle.

Just it and me.
I went from ball to ball
Hoping to flee this inevitability.
Here it is, the inevitable before me.
All I've wanted to do is flee.
Yet, here we are.
Two balls on a board,
both wanting to avoid God's final pockets.
When this is done, the game is over.
Seems a rather 'soberality'!
And wham, I'm off, aimed at that
infinite number.
And as we clash, the lightning flashes and thunders all around.
Heaven and hell collide in one booming sound.
It's though this was some epic battle.
Yet, it is just my demons and I.
Ants in a vast universe.
With billions of games going on all around.
this may seem epic,
actually this is just a simple topic
Each life it's own battle with that beady eyed 8 ball.
I strike true, thanks to God, with the push and shove,
I'm able to stem this battle and avoid the invitable for a while.
The little beady eyed ball rolls carelessly into the side pocket.
I casually roll away safely away, only for the game to start again.
It brings all its friends again.
I end up starting the process, and
over and over we roll into each other's life.
Time and again I get to know you, you get to know me.
We sometimes roll together for a while,
we sometimes roll away.
It's sometimes sad, it's some times a joy
to celebrate being free.
I roll around to not face that 8 ball alone,
yet, it's all been done.
Many times over. 
There's no doover. 
Yet, it always ends with that clash.
That final clash with eternity,
sometimes it's simply a closeted demon we try to flee.
Yet it's always there, always waiting, it never runs, it never is afraid.
It's always smugly waiting there watching us as we work hard to avoid it.

Take aim, and watch, as we shove that demon into God's pocket..
over and over.
Unfortunately it never gives up.
Yet, neither do we.
Locked in this struggle.
We grow and in this way, maybe
we somehow learn which way to roll.