Memoirs of the Wolf

Memoirs of the Wolf
Short by Graywolf 2/5/2012

Sometimes I walk out onto the the street and look both ways wondering which way to go.  There's no one around the cars are silent the lights are off.  There's nothingness.  I sniff the air, it's void of anything living.  The wolf wonders the streets, going through town.  There's nothing, there's no one. the spring breeze flows throught he trees.  Yet the wolf can sense nothing.  No danger, no living, no dead, just nothing.  It's this great empty that the wolf fears.  This great empty the wolf fears anyone to know.  For within this place the deep dark thoughts flow.  Though they are kept at bay, the wolf looks around, quickly and franticly searching.

The wolf's fur is gray, it's tail is low between its legs.  It searches franticly.  Panic pressing in. Is there anyone around.   Something drove the wolf to town.  Yet, there's nothing, there's no one.  Not even animals to gossip with.  No squirrels or birds to chase.  The wolf's hunger grows. 

It runs faster and faster through the city's streets.  Stopping and sniffing car to car.  The doors of building after building.  Yet, nothing.  What to do?   Keeping his nose raised into the air he searches .  No scents still.  the wolf wonders into the country away from what's left of civilization.  He searches the barren land.  The grass is green, yet there's nothing.  Not even a worm.  He runs up to a tree and paws at its bark, and speaks in the only language it knows...  "Pardon me, Mr. Tree, have you seen anything living?"  The tree's branches and leaves wave in the breeze.  There's no response.  He runs to the next one and the next one until he finds one that's not in the great slumber.  "Mr. Tree, Mr. Tree, I'm in need of food and am unable to find anything or anyone to talk to.  So, I'm trying to find out from you."  The tree awakens from it's slumber, it's old and tall.  It's branches withered from the harsh winter.  Few leaves have formed.

The tree lets out a loud yawn and speaks, slowly as though just waking up from a long sleep.  "Mr. Wolf, I presume.  The animals have gone.  You're alone." 

The wolf's fur bristles and it lets out a growl.  Not know or understanding the danger he's in.  He begs the tree angrily to tell him the truth.  "Your hope has moved on, you're here, it's a choice you've made...  so, curl up in my shade, and take a rest.  There's nothing left."  The wolf angry claws the trees bark and a willowy branch comes down and smacks the wolf away.

"You've chosen your place great wolf.  This empty place is where you've come, if it is not where you wish to be, then, by all means, be gone..."

The wolf runs up to the tree lays down and curls up.  Head on its large front paws.  It rests.  Its eyes close.

"Time to get up, are you going to sleep your life away? "  the mom Yells as the 10 year old boy struggles to awaken.  Wondering about his dream.   He rubs his hands to his eyes and finds them watery.  What is it he had dreamed?  What was the nightmare. There was a lingering fear.  The child slowly makes his way to do the morning ritual.  Decades later, the child looks in the mirror and sees himself buried deep within.

The wolf and the child flash before the man.  All three had something in common.  What it was the man could touch, but yet, not understand.  Not yet, It wasn't until he later realized that the world he lived in, in which he was the only being left behind, was the world he had created himself.

Though things changed, and the young child, the wise, naive wolf, and the man, had found a way to merge their lives over time.  And gain acceptance of themselves.  It was at this point though, the man knew the world he had created. Was a world he could never go back to.  He left, it, the empty dark place where nothing existed but a single lonely willowy tree.  And though the tree remained, it was simply a guide.  A warning to all that went there to realize they would be stuck there forever, if they made the choice to make that empty place their home. 

The wolf, the man, the boy, each made the decision, to move on, to the world of the living.  To the world in which life abounded and existed.  The world where the streets and homes were not empty.  The world where the birds still sang their songs and the squirrels still played their silly, nutty games.   It was in this world that the man, child, and wolf found their joy.  Though, their fear, their memory, of that empty dark place, would never leave them. They always had that place in mind, it was that place that tied the three together.  It was that place, they forever feared.  It was that place they could never ever linger without being pulled in completely.  It was that place that each avoided with strong conviction.  This made all three a little sensitive and a little uneasy.  Always uncertain what would trigger the next descent into that empty world.

Yet, They did all they could, to avoid that place.  And in that hope and that purpose, they lived on. For the remainder of their days they worked to support each other, never being alone again.  For each, the Wolf, the boy, and the man, served each other's purpose.  It is in this that they were able to save each other from that empty place of despair.  No one else was needed, they prefered the company of others, to help them reenforce each other, yet, they valued their time simply to be alone with each other. 

The landscape of that empty dieing world turned intolerable with the grass becoming hot and barren,  dry desert covered much of the land.  Without anyone to come and attend to it, it became a dieing place. Yet, where the man, the boy, and the wolf lived on, thrived, with life abundantly.   They were there for each other, for all their days. And over time even the desert simply began to be nothing but a distant memory.