Sometimes I Wonder

I've been writing more lately (in case you couldn't tell).  HA! Unfortunately I haven't gotten to my novel, and so shorter pieces are all I have time for, until I'm done teaching.   However, I needed to honor someone in my life.  Someone very special.  I don't know what the future holds. Whether there's more than a few days or a few months.  But, you know, it doesn't matter. I just simply am keeping an open mind, seeing how things go. I'm not forcing anything, I'm simply enjoying what I have.

I write this in dedication to someone very special that is enriching my life. That I pray I am also enriching there's.  And well, with valentines coming up. I think this is very appropriate for the season....

Sometimes I wonder
by Graywolf 2/12/2012

Sometimes, I wonder
where you were.
Sometimes I wonder
what's in the future?

I want to look ahead
and see your beautiful eyes
that carefree smile.
how many times
do I pick up and the phone
and find it's you I am about to dial.

Then I put it down and go my way.
There's so much I wish to say.
yet, it is your actions that keep me simply happy.

Yo show me my value to you.
It is simply how you look at me
and your consideration and care.
It's that depth of understanding we share.

I know it hasn't been long.
So, I don't know if any of this is real or true.
It's been a short time.
A few weeks,
and though the time passes quickly
there's so much to learn and know.

One minute I think I know you.
And the next I'm starting new.
Sometimes I'm intimidated
and others I find your sensitive.

It's really nice to see the concern
that comes across those caring eyes.
Though I assure that there's nothing wrong,
Your careful consideration and care come off strong.

It's your actions. 
I know I've turned your world upside down.
I know I'm different
I know I don't know how to be or act.
I know it's pretty close to a fact.
I know I don't have much to offer.
I know that sometimes I give too much.
And at times, I'm oblivious to when I give too little.
I know that I'm flawed
and many imperfections are within.
I know at times you're intimidated
by my intelligence.
If you only knew how silly I feel
when put up next to your wise experience.

Though I could coordinate an activity
and sell a project to the highest level exective.
When I come up to you,
I'm but a teenager, learning for the first time
what its like to simply kiss.
And I'm highly impressionable,
subject to silly bliss.

I know few if any understand me.
I know I'm alone in the issues that plague me.
I've accepted my life for what it is.
I've accepted I'm alone in this.
Yet you enrich me,
and I enrich you.
And somehow we work
despite how different I am from you.
I know there's a purpose.

Whether it's just a momentory stop
along my path to wherever it is I'm going.
Or this is a more serious place to rest.
I don't know what's best.
for now though, I know I am
where I am supposed to be.

Though, my strangeness
may scare you away,
I hope you don't flee.
I like that you're in my life.
I like that you want me in your life.
And in all seroiusness.
I want you with me.

Sometimes I wonder
am I too different
for anyone.
I set aside my concern
and I leave it to one whom
can maybe my life discern.
I see the pattern.
I see the strange dream.
He takes me from one to the next.
Teaching me, as I enrich and teach others.

the path is hard, there's no stopping it seems.
There seems to be no rest.
So much to do.
I get tired and just want to lay my head
down next to you.

Sometimes I wonder
where it is I go.
What it is I do.
What am I to you.
Sometimes I wonder
can I be even remotely
someone that enriches you.

sometimes I wonder
If i can be half as much as you are to me
then maybe
we'll be even.
Sometimes I wonder.
If I can ever be enough for you.
I guess as long as we live
in the moment, here and now.
We'll just have to wait and see
How our worlds collide
between you and me.