secrets

Well, to be blunt this wolf has had a shitty week.  And at every turn, there's been something to make it shittier.  I designate it to be anti-wolf week.  I try to be a positive happy go lucky wolf that admires the beauty all the earth has to offer, that admires the beauty of humans struggling to live all over through all kinds of turmoil far worse than anything I have endured.  Yet, I find myself reflecting on this week.  Everything that could go wrong pretty much did in this wolf's day job. To escape, I went to some movies with some friends and well, they were incredibly depressing movies...  Ugg. 
So, I find myself escaping into the world of literary words now!!! (YAAY ME!) 


Well, this musing, is something I'm titling first.  I'm not sure why, but, sometimes a title just comes to me, maybe my subconscious has finished writing what I'm going to write and therefore knows the title. I don't know, but the words just pop out of nowhere and it's just how it's always been for me.  The magic in it is when I reread something I wrote and have no recollection of the words I wrote.  Once written, the words, the piece, the stories, the thoughts are gone from me. 

So, this is the title I came up with.  I have no clue what follows so, join me in the journey for this wolf is on this journey with you!

Secrets
by Graywolf 11/30/2011

The sky is a bit blue
with a strange purplish hue.
The has a beautiful radiance.
All around is the calm of paradise.

All is peaceful and true.
Day by day in the life of paradise and eternity
is easy and pain free.
Some days its a place we all wish we could be.

Instead I look beyond the boundaries of my reality.
For the drab place I live pales in comparison.
Whispers all around echo.
They start out silent as
still as a calm silent night.
just little whispers.
Whispers upon the rustling leaves.
Whispers all around.
What are these sounds.

Barely audible words form.
The whispers speak angrily.
some are at me some are addressed to others
in an empty place.
The whispers grow startling louder.
Failure.
Incomplete.
Broken.
Words form within the silence.
They are barely noticeable.
They are the secrets that abound.
Damaged.
Destroyed.
Over.
Through.
The words ended as a final statement.
Somehow the words represented themselves
they became the point each on their own.
The whispers died.
And as I looked beyond the boundaries of reality
I began to see the beedy red eyes.
Black shapes formed around the beedy glowing red eyes.
They were many.
They stood all around me.
An outline of a laughing mouth stood out.
They were having their fun.
Off in the distance from the dream
of the lost paradise.
came a voice.
A singular voice with just a meek whisper
It responded with a stern statement.
Hope.

Within a moment the whispers
turned into a gnashing chatter.
Clicking all around.
it seems the whisper beings
grew angry and discordant.
They responded in a united chant.
Hope is hopeless.
They would not relent.
Hope is hopeless
they're voices growing in strength and number.
I grew mezmerized nearly into a slumber.
The voices calmed and went back into  a whisper
Broken.
Lost.
Follow us.
Damaged.
Despair.
They almost seemed giddy.
And their beside me stood a being
that I could see.
It was dressed in a white robe.
It's face was pure and white and
beautiful in all its glory.
It's eyes were a deep blue.
It's fingers long and slender.
All of its body glowed in a radiance
beyond any comprehensible beauty.
And in a bold feminine voice
it said to us all.
Hope.
Fulfillment.
Love.
Life.
Worthy.
Passion.
Traits it seemed to speak for me to the others.
What did I have to offer?
Why would such a being stand beside me?
And delcare these things to anyone let alone me?
And there it stood with all its radiance.
Saying things I did not deserve.
nor was I worthy.
In that moment.
The shadowed beings,
quick as a blink of an eye,
darted at the robed beauty and attacked.
They shredded the beings clothing.
And tore the being apart as I stared.
I knew the beings secrets.
I knew why it sacraficed its place in paradise.
The plan, the design, I don't fully understand,
yet, the secrets the being new, were given unto me.
The secret was simple.
It was what would prevale.
It was something none of the
beedy eyed little shadowy beings could touch.
The secrets are with me
for all of eternity.

Where is it when

Well, I came home inspired tonight.  As with much of what comes to my fingertips I really don't know what comes forth, however, the keyboard has spoken true again.

Where is it when?
by GrayWolf  11/28/2011

Where is it I've gone.
Heaven or Hell?
Somewhere beyond?
Lost in the past or future?
Is the past before me or behind me?
Why is it I see it before me.
When it's been long gone.
Defines who I've become.
Where is it I've gone
Heaven or Hell?
Is it somewhere beyond?

Sometimes I yawn.
Bored with the todays of tomorrow.
Confusion all around.
Is it a burning, melting, exhausting desert.
Or a rejuvinating place of hope and salvation?
The todays blend into tomorrows.
The tomorrows blend into yesterdays.

Lost in times embrace.
Wishing for it to stand still.
While I watch the rain drops fall.
If only for a moment
yesterday and tomorrow didn't matter.
If only for a brief moment
could be an eternal moment.
If only today was no longer about yesterday or tomorrow.

What if today, what if now, was about now?
Where is it I've gone.
Is it heaven or hell?
When was it I fell.
Only time will tell.
Stop this moment.
Place it on pause.
This is my cause.

This is the moment.
The one single time I embrace.
This is the moment I must face.
Face the demons of yesterday and tomorrow.
For today, peace, is all  I know.
The demons will come.
I have clue.
Whether this is heaven or hell.
I know at some point I fell.
I know that I rise above it all.
The adversaries are many.
There's none that will flee.

This is the eternal blight.
On dragons wings do I take flight.
scouring the land.
Ridding it of it's evil.
I ride on into the night.
For I have no idea whether
this is heaven or hell.
All I know is I'm in the light.

And in this eternal now
I have all I need.

Random Blog Entry (Non literary post)

I just wanted to say that, I think I mentioned before that my life is getting busier.. HA!  What an understatement. You don't know how much work it is for a wolf to stay in a pack, watch the pack blossom and then be sucked by life into other things.  Venturing in the pack, being social, playing, and living life as it was meant to be lived is awesome for this wolf whom has been fairly anti social in the past. 

The problem now is one quit simply of time management.  Picking up the wolf den, performing blog posts!!  Have any idea what it's like to type with paws! And my tail keeps getting in the way. This is no easy task humans!!

Well, social outtings aside, managing a work life, with a social life, while seeking out potential mates, just isn't conducive to literary talent.  This has slowed my progress on the Zombie Short story I promised you. I really hope it's worth the wait.  It may turn into a short novel or Novella.  Whatever between a short story and a novel is.  I'm at almost 10 pages, single spaced, and haven't even gotten to the major plot lines yet.  So, that's a good sign, but, it's still hard to work into my time.

And still have time for this mangy wolf to lounge about for himself.   You know there's really pressing things like licking my paws, chewing my claws, swishing my tail lazily, chewing on a bone or two.  There's so many things to do for this wolf.  The tasks never end..  So, that said, I have another social outting now to proceed to.  I just wanted to get a quick post out there and let you know the wolf is alive and well, and is not being lazy.  I will try to get some more historical writings posted.  Some of the better ones anyways.

Please keep checking  back as this wolf is by no means done or even remotely finished writing what he lives to write.

*HOWWWWWLLLL* o.k. a little cheesey, but, this wolf is signing out for now.

This is my first attempt at writing something within a blog. Everything up 'till now has been things I've written in the past, and reposted here.  Seldom do I write something then share it immediately without first determining whether it's something be shared with the world, or belongs in my private library of random musings.

I don't usually write the title until the end, unless, I have something specific in mind.   Rarely the case. My musings are fairly random.  Well, rather than writing about writing, how 'bout I do the seriously weird thing and write?   Enjoy this musing. 

Choices
By Graywolf 11/27/2011


Lightning flashes all around.
The waves crash.
Sometimes feeling like we're going to smash.

The lightning flashes all around.
The winds pound.
There's no hope to be found.

Alone in the seas of life.
Losing to the stryfe.

The sky is dark.
The day is supposed to be bright.
Oh where is the moon's Light?

Staring at the sky.
The clouds roil and billow.
There's an uncertainty.
The weather is in chaos.
For some reason so many of us are at a loss.
We cannot explain the storm.
And we're all about to drown.

One comes from a deep sleep amidst the storm.
And asks what's wrong?
Is there answers in religion?
Is there answers in the divine?
Is there answers in the astroligical sign?
Is there answers in the sublime?

Whom do we ask?
The ship sinks.
Torn to pieces.
The sea of life has overwhelmed us.
How long can we tread water?
How long can we survive alone?

What have we done.
Our vessel broken.
The storm unrelenting.
Why can't we just smile and have fun?

The storms perist.
Yet for some reason we'd rather resist.
The seas tries to swallow.
The incredible power of nature overwhelms.

When do we surrender?
Surrender to the tides?
Why do we fear being torn asunder?
We welcome life's blender!

Still as we lose ourselves.
We still somehow hope as we sink to see the sun.
We hope that somehow the stars might shine.
We think that somehow we'll survive as we drown.

Whom will save us?
Ourselves?
Why would we look  within
When we can look to others?
Thinking they can save us as we drown.

The lightning flashes brighter.
The sea swirls announcing our doom.
The  moon's glimmer in the clouds fades.
The darkness invades!

Can we not save ourselves?
Are we so hopeless and lost?
Have lost the will to fight
To fight for that which God Entrusted us?
Our lives are our own
We are entitled to let ourselves drown.

Ha, seem them all washed away at sea?
I shed no tears for those lost gone down before me.
I tried.
I tried.
I tried to save them all.

I tried to be that which I am not.
I am no savior.
I am no one.

The lightning flashes around me.
The clouds reveal the moon to me.
In some kind of bow
The moon, lightning, put on a dazzling show.

I stand at shore.
Exhausted from swimming.
For many moons and storms I tread water.
Then I learned to swim.

As the others looked around
just waiting to drown.
Hoping someone would save them.
There was no one.
I tried.
I tried to save them all.
It was I that would take the fall.
I am no savior.

Now, on shore I take my leave.
I toss a rope now and then.
Those willing to navigate the stormy waters.
Those willing to try to save themselves
can swim to the rope.
I will give them that small hope.

So many drowned.
So many lost to life's sea.
The ship abandoned and broken.
No sails.
No rudder.
No lazy winds to follow.
In new territory within the land of the free.
I wonder the roads alone in life
helping others unload their strife.

Will you drown or will you take up the rope?
Will you try to find hope?
Or do you give up and drown?
The world is full of the fallen.
There are few that choose life.
Life is free.
It's a simple choice.
I'm no one.
I'm nothing.
I simply chose life for me.

What is your choice?

Everything is Someday, but Never Today

This is a blast from the past.  As are a few of the pieces posted. None, yet are as old as this one.  Writing became a part of my life in 1996.  I had a best friend that loved writing stories in high school. He had a huge knack for it.  As most of us struggle with who we are in that time of our lives.  I pondered the possibilities and in 1996 I started with artistic expression through poetic prose.  Many of my writings back then were darker, but always ended with hope.  Strange how that balance came to be.  I always tried to find a clever / whitty way to play on words. This is one of those I felt like posting because it merges the use of whitty play on words with a theme that is true for anyone whether it's today or 13 years ago...

Without further ado:

Everything is someday, but never today.

By GrayWolf 6/14/98

 

Someday the world may end,

will it be today?
Someday God will come,

Will it be today?

Someday everything imaginable may happen,

but what will be today?

Some say that someday

I may find love.

I don't even know what it is,

how can anyone tell me

it's something I'm searching for?

Some say to me,

that someday I'll be happy,

How can anyone be "happy"

in the midst of a war?

Maybe I'm cynical.

People say that someday

everything will be so very fine.

Who would want to care about today,

when we can speak of someday?

upon which day may I mark "someday"

upon my calender.

Is it a holiday?

If so, what do we do to celebrate?

Someday I may be old,

Someday I may be dead,

Someday I'll live,

someday I'll know love,

who can say?

Some say live life and be happy,

Does it pay?

A tear shed for me,

a tear shed for you,

what does it matter?

Our days may be so very few.

Someday this or that

I'd rather be a door mat

that says "welcome today,

rather than a rich man that says

"Come back some other day."

For today, I can say welcome,

but tomorow may never come.

Who knows maybe someday

things might be different,

Someday......

The Barren Wasteland

I know the Wolf has been silent for some time now, almost a week. And anyone monitoring / reading these, would probably like more frequent updates.  Life is making things crazy for me.  It may have been bad timing on my part to start a blog and to start writing more. I'll be teaching a class coming January at a local university.  It's my first time and I need to prep.  However, my passion is writing and will always be.  As Robert Jordan stated, "I'll be writing until they nail my coffin shut."  Well, sadly to the world of authors and literary talent... His coffin is shut.  So, I won't be using that line myself. However, as long as the Wolf within me is alive and well, I will be writing. 

This Short story - "The Barren Wasteland" has a redundant title, however, I chose it to emphasize the true descriptive and artistic qualities of this land I describe.  The assignment given by a writers group I was a part of was to write about child abuse using little to no dialogue.  This was a tough piece to write as I like dialogue and / or inner monologues of the characters.  So, this has one main character, almost no dialogue. (I had to use some, but it's limited).  And despite the main character being described as an adult person.  Think of the world written from a child's point of view.  Though the views are a bit mixed.  Think of this as a piece describing how a hurt child may see the world..  It's only speculation, but, I thought it was a great way to try out new artistic expression.

I don't like clarifying my stories for readers because I want readers to interpret what they read for themselves.  In short, I want my works to stand alone, but, this one, I felt was crucial to give a bit of back story. 

However, I will state, this piece is a bit dark.  Given the task at hand, I had to write this from a darker point of view. 

The barren Waste Land

by GrayWolf 8/20/2011

The wind and sand is like sandpaper sanding away all the scars upon my inner being.  Yet, defiantly I walk into the wind.  Disheveled hair, pale skin, sunken brown eyes, a leather worn pale tan jacket that’s been shredded as much as me.  You see, my boots are old and torn, My jeans, are filthy turning brown from the endless sand.  The few others that survive out in this barren waste land, that aren’t parched or withered up and mostly dead that ask me where I’m from, don’t really care because of where we are.

            If I had to answer, well it doesn’t really matter now does it. I’ve always been a lone.  And to give anyone the satisfaction of knowing me, would just be a moot point in this desolate land.  There’s nothing here. Nothing left.  The earth withered and died.  The few humans that remain are little more than festering zombies waiting to die.  I on the other and through some masochistic need to survive keep on living.  Surviving, just barely, on what I can find.

            I’d tell someone my name, but, what’s the point. There’s nothing here in this land that cares.  So, just call me that Guy. That’s all that really matters; is that guy that wonders the abandoned lands.  So, I wonder the lands surveying what’s left, trying to see if there’s any hope left, any place that maybe life could once thrive again.  So far I’ve only found death.  Not mine, mind you.  Never mind.

            A dusty tear runs down the dusty guys face turning to a small mound of dirt and grime on his chin.  That guy, swipes his dirt encrusted chin.  The sleeve of his jacket leaving more dirt and grime than was there prior.

            The Guy walks down the dusty path. Some ancient humans may have called this a road.  At best it’s a desert encrusted path to nowhere.  The path, sand covered, and deserted, contains a few large chunks of black encrusted materials broken and withered with thin rods of metal sticking out.  At one time this may have been called pavement or chunks of concrete. The large chunks stick up out of the ground as large obelisks to the sun Gods. A smile crossed that guys face at the thought. The sun Gods.  As if there were any Gods… Nope there was just That Guy walking down an empty desolate, hopeless path.  The other sign of a path were the odd shaped buildings. Or what was left of them.  There was nothing wood left. Time took its toll on perishable items such as wood.  All that remained was rusty shards of metal from former roofs,  the pumps of a gas station here or there sticking up out of the ground, buried long ago by sand and time. 

            Walking further down the path, boots making scraping noises against the sand every step the guy took.  With each foot fall the boots would sink into the sand.  The ground was so hot in places he could smell the stench of burning flesh.  There were no animals, just the humans rotting away.  From burning flesh to simply rotting corpses the stench reeked across the desert landscape. Humans everywhere lost in their hopeless struggle to live and all they did was sit in their misery.  Day in and day out they were unaware of the hell they kept themselves in.  The guy new better, what he saw would crush any soul.  Yet, he knew without a doubt these souls were lost. They may think they were doing something worthwhile.  He knew that they just sat their rotting away though.  He saw their reality for what it was.

            Leaving the semblance of what was left of civilization. The human rotting and stench surrounded him.  They were all around. The dead, the dieing, the hopelessness contained in their eyes.  He plodded on looking into each of their eyes to see if any had any hope.  None that he had come across yet, showed any signs of life or hope.  Sure they lived their lives.. Yet in this reality they were doing nothing more than rotting. Flesh hanging from bones, Empty eyes staring up at nothing.   Oh some had the strength to understand the Guy.  They were blind… They were all blind, they couldn’t see reality.  He dismissed them, waived them away.  They had nothing that the guy sought.  Nothing that would keep the overbearing sense of hopelessness at bay.  The world was as hopeless as he felt.  The sun beat down, cooking the ground, the flesh, the vegetation, and even burned the exposed skin of the guy’s flesh.  He was used to it though.  The burning had deadened him to the pain and now, he walked on through the desert. 

            One step at a time he traveled the vast expanse of the world in search of something.  There were a few stumps of trees. They were all dry and petrified.   The entire earth was a desert.  So far the Guy hadn’t found anything that peaked his interest. Until one day he came upon an intact building.   It resembled a school.  He decided to check it out.

            Heading over he saw movement inside.  Most he came across could barely move in their rotted state.  This was different.  He braced himself for hope as he opened the silver glass paned doors. The steel was strangely cool to his touch. It should have been scorching.  This certainly was different.  The school building was completely intact.  No signs of disrepair.  No signs of mass destruction.  He walked in and immediately was nearly frozen.   The inside was cool. Colder than anything he’d experienced.  His dust encrusted leather jacket and skin smoldered and smoked in the new cold temperatures. 
            The Guy walked through into the building’s wide halls.  Marble floors caused his boots to make huge clinking noises.  He was not used to walking on a solid footing.  He stumbled a few times trying to make his way into the building.  He heard noises.  Something wasn’t right.  Then as he rounded into the first classroom he saw a nightmare.

            He saw children in fairly good shape.  But, he saw the same empty stare from their eyes. Upon closer inspection it was their clothing that looked good. They were actually as rotted as others.  However, there was something different.  Next to each of the children was a black wraith.  They looked to be a black shadow of a floating shroud. Within their face were beady red eyes staring out. 
            Each one was hovering over the children sucking energy from them.  Several of the wraiths came over to the guy.  They reached out and started pulling at his flesh and pulling at his arms and legs. Wherever they touched hunks of skin blacked even further and started to fall off.

            A dry scratchy voice came from one of the children. It was barely audible, but the guy caught it.  Not missing a thing.  “Help us.  Save us.   Help us. Save us.”  First one kid, then another joined, then the whole classroom cried out in dry scratchy voices, echoing throughout the whole school.  Every classroom must have been full. The voices cried out “Help Us. Save Us. Help Us Save us.”    The black whisps of wraiths floated around the children as they cried out.  Their empty eyes penetrated the guy’s eyes.  The children stared him down crying out.  The wraiths joined in raising their wispy arms into the air singing out in quiet, yet demanding scratchy voices; “Yes, Help them Save them. Help them!! Save Them!!”  Over and over the echoes sounded throughout the school.  The guy saw the reality of the suffering of the children.  All of them,  were in the grips of horror beyond understanding.  This was their reality.  The guy could do nothing to save them. No more than he could for himself or any of the rotting corpses outside. 
            He continued on searching. Now he continued to see the wraiths, they became more and more common.  They hovered around, seemed to follow him, snatching away bits of his life. Clawing at him.  His hope was dwindling that there was anyplace better.  His faith was waning.  All he had now was to continue on.  But, his body was thinning, his strength was failing.  Soon he would be no more than the corpses lying around in the barren wasteland of hopelessness.

            The burned, tormented, tortured, and lost guy traveled the wastelands. Searching, using all his resolve to find what he sought. He walked along barren paths, in extreme heat, with little to carry him on but the one rumor that there was a promised land.  He searched day in and day out. Weary from the emptiness all around. For years he searched on and on, every day getting a little weaker and dying a little more.  He came upon a strange place.  It was a small pool of water in the ground.  It was only a few feet across. Blackened and dirty, yet it’s surface was highly reflective.  Initially the guy washed his face in the pool.  He then saw his reflection in the pool. There was no breeze, no wind to disturb the water.

            Gazing into the motionless pond it drew the guy in more and more. He had not seen this much water as he wondered the desert. This was a new site so he stared further into the water trying to figure it out. He heard someone crying, he looked around and was unable to anything remotely alive around him.  He just felt the unbearable scorching heat of the desert.  He turned back to the pond and stared again and he heard the crying again. He concentrated further on the pond and as he stared into it he could see a bed, a room where a little boy laid. Concentrating further the guy could see tears streaming down the little boys face.  The boy prayed through his sobs for God to protect him, to provide an angel to him to help him survive.  He prayed and cried until the boy was asleep.  This was a site that the guy didn’t know. It was a reality he didn’t know.

            He pulled himself away for a moment to try to grasp what he was seeing. It was an unreal site.  A person truly alive not being drained of their soul, not being attacked, and not wasting away into nothingness.  He looked back into the puddle and the puddle had grown in size.  He looked in and the boy was still in his room grown now, into a teenager. The prayers were the same though. “Help me, Save me, Help me, Save me.”  He cried tears of torment and agony. 
            The guy stared and noticed tears streaming down his eyes and as they came the pool got smaller.  There was a balance between the two worlds.  The guy stared into the pool the more the boy cried the more the guy was struck down in agony. 

            The wraiths came and just stood watch over the guy.  Then they saw the pool and began to claw at the boy through the pool. His agony increased, his torment was ten fold.  There was nothing left for the guy nor the boy.  No one came, no one cared, no one loved, no one was there, no one stopped to stare.  He was rejected, he was alone.  The guy knew the feeling all too well.  The barren wasteland was no home for him.  He was rejected from the world of the tormented and dyeing.

The little boy was rejected and tormented in the world of the living.

            The two were intertwined.  In just a matter of minutes the world began to get more barren, it got hotter, and the sand began to melt into glass crystals.   Soon, the whole world would crumble in the heat.  The guy had to do something to save the boy. Their fates were intertwined. 

            He jumped into the pool of tears as it dwindled and he found himself as a grown man in the boys world.  The boy got up from the bed. Walked over to the man, and gave him a genuine hug.  The boy said amongst his sniffles “Thank you for coming to save me for I was dieing.   I know you will no longer reject me. I know you will always love me.”

            As the man reach down to grasp the boy the two became one.  The whole world shifted and the pool to the barren wasteland vanished. There were no more signs of wraiths come to irradicate the soul.  There was no continued scorching of the land.

            There was no more emptiness.  The boy was rescued.  Not by anyone else but himself.  The boy and the guy sometimes disagree. However, the guy whispered to the boy one last time “We will no longer be rejected.  I accept you as you are.  Not many will understand us, not many will accept us.  Many out there will reject us.  Just know that I am here to protect you, That is my job. No one can ever again harm you.  You and I are one, I will protect you.”

            The spirit of the boy nodded and shifted into that of the image of the guy, and the guy that roamed the barren wasteland for what seemed like an eternity got a soul.  In return, the guy agreed to protect that little boy ever again.   Whether rejected, whether scorned, whether hated, whether unaccepted, it doesn’t matter, the guy will be there to protect the boy from all the harms of the future.

            As for the barren wasteland;  the pool of tears watered the ground.  The water fostered life.  Barren plants began to grow, and over time the strength of will between the guy and the boy fostered the barren wasteland into a garden that rivaled even Eden.  Life abounded. 

           

The Forest

I tried to find a way to describe this piece, but, nothing I can say really does any justice.  So, I leave it to you the reader to interpret it and see how it applies to you.  It was supposed to be a poetic prose, but as with anything I write, I don't follow any rules or guides.  This ended up being a combination of poetic prose / story based prose..  If I must say so myself, a better title may be "A tribute to learning and healing."

The Forest

By Graywolf 2/10/2009

 

In a moment frozen in time.

Icicles dripping from the trees.
A crackling sound echoes all around.
Peace and serenity surround.
A wolf lowers it’s head sniffing the air.
The smells flood him with the scents of a thousand flowers in full bloom.
The icicles tremble and fall from the thunderous sound.
The wolf lunges and deftly dodges each one in an elegant dance through the forest.
Seeking shelter for rest, he finds a small den to call his own.
Some days he wishes he weren’t alone.
Others he simply just gnaws on a bone.
He peers innocently through the den opening
Seeking that which had caused the sound.
Nothing obvious he found.
Leaving the safety of the den he begins slowly prowling through the forest.
Looking here and there, silently making his way. 

Again a crackling sound like thunder.
Suddenly lightening struck right in front of the wolf, as he jumped away.
And there stood, a tiny tiny little lady bug, right where the lightning had struck.
The bug, got up and fluttered it’s wings and began to dance before the wolf.
A strange image, one the wolf could not comprehend.
The lady bug seemingly spoke into the wolf’s mind.
The magic is strong in this forest, yet it is stronger in you.
You must be the source, I have rode the waves of energy and magic to find you.
Ladybug, this is my world.  Why are you here? 
Humbly, graywolf, I beg your presence longer.
As you can see, there’s chaos all around.

Within your world, you are losing control. 
That’s why I’ve come.

To show you the way, that you must go.
Squish me if you wish, eat me if bugs beg your appetite.
Yet, wisdom I can show you.
Take control of your world. And the forest will be restored.
The trees will converse with you, though they are a bit argumentative a minor drawback.
The flowers will occasionally smile or sneeze at you.. *whispers* (sometimes flowers are allergic to themselves.  Sshhhh…  don’t say anything.)

The ladybug flutters up and lands on the tufts of the wolfs bristling fur.

The little tiny ladybug antennae seem to curl around the wolfs fur and yank.
Onward mighty wolf, into your magical land.

The wolf and the little, tiny ladybug went running off into the heart of the forest.

There, see that iced over tree…  Now, walk up to it, give it hug, and see the true magic work.
The wolf confused, and afraid of what others of his kind would think of him listening to a little tiny ladybug, ran to the tree the bug had pointed out and wrapped his front paws around it.  Leaning his head against the tree, the wolf slowly slid off the ice to the ground and his last memory was of a tree branch reaching down and patting the back of his head. Then he had drifted off to sleep.

Suddenly another clash of thunder this time only in his head.  He jumped awake almost into the tree.

Looking around, the tree he could remember vividly had been covered in solid ice and was now, blossoming with new buds all around and it’s bark seemed to shift.
Wake one tree up, and by the end of the day they’ll all be waving their leaves and gossiping.. 
Oh, hey mighty wolf, let’s get going by now the whole forest will know you’ve awoken.

The wolf confuzzled, had only been out a few minutes. . as if reading his thoughts the lady bug raised it’s antennae and fluttered it’s wings to In front of the wolf’s face.

Oh no, mighty wolf, humbly I beg of you more patience. You’ve been asleep for years, your forest though still alive had gone dormant.  Your magic had froze it over.   Sure, you got up now and then to take a stroll, yet, you’ve been in a deep slumber for years.

The wolf dismissed the ladybug, after all it was a bug.

The ladybug sensed the dismissal but carried on and pointed the way.
Soon the two were off again. 
The wolf stopped panting and asked to find another den. 
The little tiny lady bug shook it’s tiny head in disapproval.
The time for slumber is over.  We must revive the forest.
What’s the urgency?
If the forest dies, you die Mr. Wolf.
You and the magic of this land are linked.
Revive it you must.

You’ve been given authority over this land.

It is your temple, you are it’s caretaker.
You may lose yourself in the forest, but lose the forest and you lose yourself.
The wolf angry now, squished it’s desire to squish the irritating little, tiny bug.
The lady bug said, now, you must proceed to lick the honey bee hive over there.

Looking at it it was dripping with honey, but swarming with insects that could destroy him.

The wolf silently ran up to the hive and did as the little tiny ladybug demanded.
He took a lick of the dripping honey and found himself unable to resist.
He licked what may have been days of the honey.
And then fell unconscious from being too full.
Days, weeks, months, some time later, the wolf awoke again.
And all around him were birds fluttering, bees buzzing, flowers growing beautifully raised towards the sky.

All around life had sprunch up. 
You see, Mr. Wolf, the bees hives were saturated with honey, and they no longer pollinated anything because there was too much honey.

You’ve revived them by simply allowing the bees to start pollination again and the birds smelled the fresh aroma of the new flowers.
Now you see Mr. Wolf, Life has begun.  Your land is filled with magic yet again.
I must take my leave.
You know what must be done. 
The wolf looked back at the fleeting lady bug, and began to shout, Little Tiny Lady bug I need you!

The bug stopped in mid air, and whispered back,
I’m just a little tiny lady bug.  What could I possibly do for one such as you.

With a grin, the little tiny lady bug fluttered it’s wings and was struck by lightning.
In time the wolf tended all that needed tending to, and the forest flourished with more and more creatures abounding all around.

Something Precious

This, I wrote almost exactly 2 years ago.  It speaks for itself, and needs no commentary.  I post it because I like my use of imagery.  It seems to me very self explanatory. 

Something Precious

By Graywolf 12/18/2009

Alone, the stars shine bright.

Dotting the sky with their brilliant light.
A flicker there, a twinkle there.
They shine like a crystalline structure just floating up there.
Careful lest their brilliance shatter.
I look around, alone in  a sea of peoples.
Smiles all around.

No where can my heart be found.

The seas of people mill to and fro

The silence in my ears deafens the droning of the crowd.

I wish the silence weren’t so loud.

Here I am standing tall and proud.

Alone, looking up at the twinkling structures.

Not a cloud to be seen.

All may pass me by, some may stop to say hi.

Alone.

I scan the horizon, eyes set on a single destination.

Searching still, no where can my heart be found.

I swear I had given it to one.
One so long ago that didn’t even realize she had it.

She must have misplaced it. 

Searching franticly where it might have gone.

It’s little legs, though short, could have carried it anywhere.

If I had the heart surely it would be pounding harder now in distress.

No one notices the empty cavity in my chest.

I hear an echo it says come here.

Suddenly, it seems as though maybe the stars got brighter.

The crystalline structures bigger.

I flounder in the sea of people.

Did someone break the silence of me?
Whom could it have been?
Franticly I desperately search, running through the crowd, pushing

Man, woman and child.

Something’s wrong.

I no longer feel strong.

The life is emptying from me

Through my chest cavity.

Where do I go, what do I do.

The stars continue to get brighter.

I like down and everything seems further.

Darker.
The crowd seems to be thinning, the path narrower.

A short while later,

A voice again echoes.  
Come here.

A most glorious figure.

One I cannot imagine.

Confident and strong,

Brilliantly garbed in a colorful array.

An array of color and brilliance that shines and defies the brightest of stars.

I beg of the being, where have I placed my heart.

I feel  as though I’ve been ripped a part.

In shame I fall to the ground and beg and plea, what have I done?
The voice in no uncertain terms commands me to give up this charade.

I falter, but stand, barely able to contain myself.

The being, stares into my chest cavity and says you were whole

You were born, and still you grew, and you were full of life and true to me.

So, how is it this hole came to be?

Shame fills what’s left of me.

The being, yielding no sign of mercy or judgment.

Lifts a beating heart from the ground. 
Strong and healthy, beating as though from an Ox.

This, was once something you gave to me, and I told you it’s yours

To keep and take care of.

How is it you could lose such a thing so precious?
The being eyed the beating organ as though it were a puzzle to be solved.

I could only remain frozen, paralyzed in fear and shame.

After gazing for a time as though it were a precious jewel.

He says here, this is yours. 
I give this to you freely so that you may have a new life to live.

Free of the fear, shame, and pain that you once knew.

Protect this, for it is precious.

With that, I feel myself starting to float away, I look unparalyzed at the brilliant figure.

I notice a dark spot that wasn’t there before.

It was a black spot where strong and healthy chest should be.

I look down and see that my chest is closed and sealed up. 

The life blood pumping through me once a gain.

Once again I find myself back in the sea of people.

I’m left to ponder the experience and to wonder why

I gave up something so precious so freely?

A Definition of Friend

I like this piece a lot, because it's simple, positive, and defines something many of us take for granted. 

A Definition of Friend

By GrayWolf 6/2/2011

A friend may not be around forever

Somehow they always seem to be there,

There when one needs a friend the most.
A friend may not always understand,
May not always agree or see eye to eye.
At the same time
They’ll help one to learn to fly.
A friend may not always say
What we want to hear
Yet, they always find a way
To lend an ear.
A friend occasionally
Buys each other a beer.
Sometimes a friend
May act carefree and crazy,
At the same time there’s
Never anything to fear.
A friend may sometimes be far away,
Yet they always seem to be near.
Special precious friends
With an extraordinary gift of kindness and caring
Seem to be few.
It’s something to me that is new.
The definition of a great friend to me is YOU!

Respect The Intellectual Rights

I post these things to the web, freely, of my own will.  I ask that you, the public, respect my intellectual rights.  Ha! I think I just called myself intellectual!!  Anyways, this post is just a simple reminder to ask me for permission to reuse anything I write here!

Current Work In Progress

I am in the process of writing a new short story. I'm attempting to merge humor, some relatively serious themes mixed in with a really silly plot.  It's my first attempt to try to mix silliness in a more mature theme to appeal more to adult readers.  It will be fairly clean, heck, I'll just give a minor synopsis:

It is a diary of a modern day scientist that discovers a possible impending zombie apocalypse.   It will definately be silly, after all how can zombies be serious?  HA!  But, it's a cool twist to things. It was inspired by a friend's child's obsession with zombies. 

Well, feel free to drop me comments. Things you like, don't like, whatever.  If you need something written or would like to know more about me or my works, feel free to get my attention.

I'll see about setting up an anonymous email address to receive private comments. For now, Please feel free to comment on any of my musings!!  I will continue to upload and post new and historical works I've completed. 

Dancing On Clouds

This is a short story I had fun writing and being frivilous to capture that which we all seek. I loved writing this one, I hope anyone that sees this blog enjoys reading it as much as I had writing it!!! 

Dancing on clouds

A short Story By GrayWolf 8/22/2011

‘Twas a night like any other.  The stars were clearly visible, puffs of white cotton clouds hung as if attached by a string to the bright full moon.   A couple stars crossed paths and stopped to stare. This was a day like no other. A day not of yesteryear nor of today.  But this was a day of tomorrow.  A day not yet arrived.

The stars stopped to stare, upon a cloud the  six pointed beings stopped and stood.  Their paths crossed and they looked down upon the earth.   They looked down upon a single building, their light making all a glimmer.

The night was young, and all were having fun.  The laughter ensued.  It was a nice place, a quaint bar.  The drinks flowed readily, the people discussed anything and everything.  The camaraderie was friendly.  “Jason, how can you say such a thing.” Said one of the females in the group.

The table was in an uproar in a joke bordering on crude, yet, the females feigned disgust, they all appeared interested. He didn’t mind the attention, yet none really interested him.  He just enjoyed the time making people laugh and forget their troubles.

“…. What is your opinion on that movie?”  Said one of the more attractive females.

Jason, lost in his own thought s had to think of something quick. “It wasn’t a bad movie.” He jibed into the conversation.

It was a safe answer.  He looked up and out one of the windows that opened up to an outdoor padio. He saw someone standing there. Her back was turned, she was standing. Her long flowing blond air slightly disturbed by the breeze.   He ignored the conversation as the others in their bordering on drunk stupor continued on in their laughter without him. 

“What are you thinking, she’s too good for you.  You don’t deserve someone like her.” His thoughts betrayed him. He was already having doubts.  He stared at her slender body, slightly tanned skin, her long legs, and a summer dress that was just long enough to be proper, yet, left  some room for desire.

He stared at her and couldn’t take his eyes off her. He decided to to challenge his thoughts and took his leave from the table. The others thought it was to relieve himself. He let them believe what they wanted and walked out to the patio.   He couldn’t bring himself to speak, and so, he stood by the door.

“Ned, why do you always pick the tough ones you idiot.” The bright shining bluish star slapped the other star almost hard enough knock him off his cloud.  The other star with a slightly red shine to him recovered himself and stood back on the cloud. 

“Seriously stop it, or your going to be the next one babysitting the moon. You know how much of a crybaby the moon is.  So, either man up and shine your light on this one or go brood with the moon.”

Kehlor, decided to let it be.  So, this is another case of love is it not. Ned frustrated with Kehlor’s lack of attention decided breathe a deep sigh and explain things.  “You see Kehlor, these two  are meant for each other, they just don’t know it yet…. “ Ned was continuing to explain the intricacies of love when he was rudely interrupted by a blank stare. “O.k. Ned, I get it, I get it, I promise, but…. Them? Really? Seriously?   I want whatever the moon is smoking. It seems to be helping him… And you, I got no fricken clue what you been doin, but, the moon and I both want some!! “

Ned reached down scooped up a puff of the cloud, then brightened himself to light just a little of the cloud on fire and stuffed the cloud puff into Kehlor’s mouth. 
“Now shut IT”

“MMMMMM MHMMHMMM” 

“SHUT IT!”

Kehlor quieted down some, then pulled the smoking cloud remnants out of his mouth. “I get what you’re doing, but how do you know them, that they were meant for each other, What makes you think you know this stuff.”

Ned heaved another sigh and said “Because I said so.”

Kehlor burst out laughing.  “As if you know anything.. “

Ned expected this from Kehlor, it was just how the starry being was.  So, Ned proceeded with what patience he had left.

“Kehlor I need you to help me.  They’ll never be together if you don’t help me out.  I can see now that their light is dim and they are too consumed by themselves to see each other.  Their hearts cry out for what they both have to offer, yet, they will never give in.  They need some motivation.

Help me create the greatest night of their lives. I can’t do this without you.  I need you to be with me on this.”
“o.k. I’ll do this for you.  I think you’re crazy but you know that.  I will help you on one condition!”

The star rolled its eyes “name it.” …. Not believing he would give in to anything Kehlor would demand.

“I get to lead this time.”

“NO! the last time you led, you nearly destroyed an entire city. You do know going all supernova is bad for the earth.  I vowed never again. You nearly destroyed the entire civilization! NO, NO, NO, NO!”

“Come on Ned, I promise I won’t go supernova, no blackholes, nothing mean.  I promise, Please, I promise, I promise.”

Ned couldn’t believe what he was doing this, but he needed Kehlor’s help.

“Kehlor, here’s the deal…” “ YES YES YES I won’t LET YOU DOWN!”  Before Ned could gather his flares about him Kehlor had taken flight glowing blue through the night sky.  He flashed through the sky like a comet.  He made his way to where Jason was staring out the window. They needed to do something spectacular to get his attention and to create the moment.  Kehlor knew just the thing to do, he waited for Ned to catch up.  As soon as he was close, Kehlor began to glow brighter and brighter blue. 

Jason stood staring out the window the beautiful woman.  She stood there staring outside, lost in her own world. He wondered what troubled her.  What she was thinking.  He wondered who she was, what mystery surrounded her life… And as he was thinking to himself he saw bright flashes of blue and red through the night sky.   Initially it looked like lightning. Yet, there was a slight trail.

Curiousity got the best of him and he proceeded out the through the door and walked over to the railing and looked out over the town.  There in the sky was what seemed to be falling stars falling nearly to the ground, they then disappeared.

“It’s a beautiful site to see falling stars on such a clear night” Jason found himself speaking out loud.  The woman slightly startled turned her head to him and looked at him.

“Yes, they were quite beautiful.” Her heart beat skipped a beat and her eyes glistened in the moonlight.  She couldn’t think.  A handsome guy staring out over the city at the stars stood next to her.  Her mind raced, what to think, to do. She was lost in his gaze.  He didn’t say a word, instead, he turned to the stars and stared out at the night sky. And the strangest thing happened.  There were a shower of sparks as though one of the stars had exploded in the moonlit sky. Jason reached over and grabbed her hand as his heart raced. As his mind yelled at him, asking him what he’s doing and declaring himself insane on many counts.

Jason stood with his hand gently covering hers on the iron railing.  She didn’t move her hand, so he felt safe. 
They both stared at the night sky.  
“Keep it up, it’s working Kehlor, I don’t know what you’re doing, but, keep it up!!” Both stars were just warming up and smiling with mischievous giddy joy.  Ned was even getting into it.

“Ned, Ned, Ned, I know I promised, but this is the only way.” Kehlor had stopped in front of Ned mid streak to the ground.  “Kehlor what are you thinking, I said NO!”

“I know I promised, I promised. This is the grand finally and we have to give them the show of their lives. I think we can do this.”  Kehlor whispered into Ned’s ear with his starry hand cupped over his mouth as he whispered into Ned’s ear.

Ned, seeing the genious in Kehlor’s plan, reluctantly agreed. Mainly wanting to see what would happen.   The stars took to flight and sweeped in towards Jason.

“Hi, My name is Jason” Jason nervously spoke. 

“I’m Alicia” Alicia had the same nervous quivering in her voice. They stared at each other wondering what to say next. Then, just as they were both about to speak at the same time, the blue and red stars came a fluttering and exploded in a shower of colorful sparks just off the balcony.  Jason took Alicia in his arms and whispered in her ear. “I’m sorry if I’m too forward, yet,  this is just too beautiful to resist, may I please just hold you this beautiful night.” She leaned into his arms as he put his arm around her and his heart about burst out of his chest. He rubbed her shoulder as he held her and stared out at the night stars and the moon. 
Neither needed to say a word to the other, it was their night, their moment.  And then, with a loud boom right next to them a dark blackness appeared next to them in mid air..  The black hole formed and stopped time for a moment. 
The two stood together lost in a moment that could have lasted forever.  These little stars didn’t have that much power, but, they made the night a few hours longer for the two.

The stars exhausted from their endeavor took their star forms and went back to their cloud and looked down. 
Ned and Kehlor watched with intense attention as Jason and Alicia had moved on to talking and laughing together.  This was a night to remember.

Kehlor and Ned hugged each other as a little tear ran down Kehlor’s glowing face.  “Ned, I didn’t know we had this much power. “
Ned responded “We don’t, they had to be brave enough to see what was before them.  We just were the spark that ignited between them.  “
“Thank you for showing me what’s important Ned.  I didn’t think that we could be that spark. It’s pretty amazing being the spark Ned. “
The two started arguing about who was better and who actually lit the spark between Jason and Alicia. At one point, Ned ended up throwing Kehlor off the cloud. The two continued their bantor and when they checked in on Jason and Alicia again, they could the sparkles as they looked into each other’s eyes.  They could see a new star coming alive as the spark between them grew throughout the night.

It was amazing to watch.  It was amazing for the two stars to see.  They felt dim compared to the spark ignited between them.  The two stars knowing they had each other took each other’s hands and danced on the white cloud to the joy their accomplishments that night.

Whitewolf Within

This was written this past June by Me.  It is a tribute to my inner strength and all that I've learned about life.  It is what I had the painting based on, and befitting of my first blog post of my wolven musings!

The WhiteWolf Within

By GrayWolf 6/29/2011

My eyes stare into oblivion.
Nothing in focus.
Nothing in vision.
Inward I retreat.
Into my mind.
The battle surges within.
All around darkness does surround.

The storm comes.

Its evil full of vile intent.
My soul is near to being bound.
The lightning erupts and flashes.
It lights the darkest of dark night skies.
White flashes illuminate the swirling clouds.
They form a portal.

Within Beaming red eyes gleam.

Claws and tentacles lash out through the swirling storm.
Thunder booms.
Boom..
Boom..
Doom comes.
My soul near to being gone.
The Demon Lords stand ready.
Boom..
Flashes of lighting all around.
The clouds swirl and roil the sky.
They’re black.
Black as black velvet.

The storm comes.

Boom. Flash. Boom.
Hope is all but gone.
The demons snicker
And above the thunder
Can be heard the din of hideous laughter.
Beyond the storm lies the ancient of ancients.
A demon dimension so evil and vile.
None survive.

Though they must endure their own eternal damnation.

My soul floats freely within my mind.
It’s pure whiteness pulled and stretched.
It soon will be in Hell’s dominion.
Hope Is lost,
Boom, Boom.
The thunder echoes.
The lightning flashes all around.

Like thrown spears
Forks of lightning strike my soul.
As if somehow it could bring life.
Yet it only brings the eternal death.
Slowly my soul rises into
The black hole of damnation.
The forces are so strong.
And my strength is gone.
Faith is lost.
I say good riddance
And let my soul be tossed.
As good as the refuse heap I say.
No rest.
No peace.

The ancient demon lords Writhe,

giddy with a new feast.
Hope is gone,
Perhaps I’m done.
One by one the demon Lords
Spring free into my land.
My territory. 
They raise their hell banner.
Claiming me as theirs.
Chains are tied.
I am leashed and soon to be fried.
My mind roils.
The blackness of death and torment boils.

For this is the second death.

There is no one last breath.
For this is eternal.
My mind invites the evil in.
Has opened the gateway for the battle to begin.
A strange thing though.
My heart pounds faster.
My heart has no tolerance.

Thump.

Boom.
Flash.
Thump. Thump.
The beating of the heart beats faster.
From the darkness of the roiling clouds
And the constant flickering of lightning

Comes a rain drop.
Then two.
Then three.
And as the drops come faster.
The demon lords look around.
This is not what they ordered.
Who dares defile their land?
Thump. Thump. Thump.

Soon there’s a torrential down pour.

My soul seethes with hopeless anger.
The pain and the torment are unbearable.
I’m halfway through the portal screaming
In undefined, unknowable agony.
The rains come harder.

The lords raise their fisted claws into the sky,

Screaming bloody murder.
The rain covers the land,
The ashen earth, the barren landscape.
From out of nowhere, stands a loan defiant wolf.
Its ear piercing howl echoes into the oblivion.
Its tail raised.
Its head held high.
It lets out a growl.
The lightning flashes.
Thump thump thump thump thump.
Boom.  Crackle, boom!

Thump Thump.

The Wolf walks slowly forward.
It moves with such grace, without a care.
Slowly forward it walks with a confident grace.
Its fur remains un-matted, untouched by the raining down pour.

Where the wolf walks, dryness is found.
The wolf wears a confident grin.
Hordes of hells minions have come through.

All are feasting away upon the destroyed soul.

The soul that’s almost lost to all.
The wolf howls again.
And runs in to the mix.
An overpowering thunder stops the hordes.
The lightning flashes cease.
The thunders stop their roar.
All that can be heard is a faint

Thump. Thump. Thump.
Nothing more.

A dragon, red in it its scales,

With its breast as dark as night.

Swoops Down from the sky.
It’s teeth sharp and rigid.
Fiery green hell flames burst from its snout.
The wolf walks before the dragon
And tilt’s its head.
The dragon drools hungrily as it seeks to be fed.
The wolf raises itself confident before the dragon.
“Hell Lord, this soul is not yours for the taking.”"
This mind has given itself to the black hole of oblivion.”
“Yes, but this soul’s heart is still full with joy, love, and laughter.
This one does not belong to you,
Heaven has heard his call.
And it is yet your turn to fall.”

The dragon bewildered by the challenging wolf

Snaps forward and jaws grabbing the wolf between its teeth.
The wolf Howls.
Thump Thump Thump.
And with that the wolf jumps free of the mouth
And hops to the ground.

Lunging forward the wolf’s claws and teeth

Tear at the dragon’s black as night breast.
The scales rip off as the wolf claws with such ferocity.
The dragon reals back and breaths a fiery burst of green flame at the wolf.
It remains untouched.

“Your Hell fire has no power.
The heart has rang true,
You are through.”
With that the whitewolf plunges forward
With a final thrust of its mouth and teeth
The wolf burrows into the fiery dragons belly.
All of the hordes of hell cry out in unison.
They slowly retreat back into the black hole of oblivion.
The wolf defiantly nudges anything evil back to where it came from.
The soul is now released.

Ththumpththumpththump.

The heart beats more soundly.
The whitewolf stands proudly over the soul.
It licks the soul up and down and
Soon the soul gains form.
It rises from the ground.
With that the mighty wolf bows
And jumps into the white soul.
The being rises from rest.
The Wolf now part of the being
As it goes confidently into the world of the everyday living.
The battles may never end,
But now the white wolf lies within always ready to defend.