Choices Unknown
By Graywolf 9/27/2012.
Choices,
choices we face,
we go, we leave,
we come back,
Wondering
always wondering
is there something we lack.
Alone the choices we must face.
So many possibilities
upon some so much importance
we place.
Whether tomorrow or today,
who knows whether we'll work or play.
Do we choose it to be a good or bad day?
Do we choose to accept or deny this day?
So many options so many choices.
Only one is available to be chosen.
So many of the choices are exclusive.
Which ones do we regret,
which ones do we move forward
knowing we've made the best choice.
How far down the path is too late to turn back?
There's so much I lack.
Insufficient information to know where to go.
What to do.
Choices are alone amongst many.
They are just like you and me.
There may be many a friend,
many a person, even a puppy
there to comfort and support.
Ultimately I must be me, I must live with myself.
And that's why so many times I wish
I could place all my choices upon a dusty old shelf.
Let them be, forget them, and move on.
A'las this choice is the least desirable of them all.
The choices before me are difficult to understand and see.
I'm so free and carefree, yet, so conflicted with what choices
want me to choose them.
Maybe the whole world awaits, maybe I have no choice
and it's all up in the hands of the fates.
The future unknown, the past overwith,
only the present to contend with.
Alone I face what is now.
Sometimes I wish I could just take a bow.
Receive a mild applause and move behind the curtain
and simply disappear into what is beyond.
Yet that choice, is unchoosable and unknowable.
Everything so uncertain, I'm lost, to try to understand
what should be done.
WhiteWolf Within
Based on Whitewolf Within
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Leave Takings
Leave Takings
by graywolf 5/13/2012
What to say when it's time to say goodbye.
I'm not sure why, why not give a new try?
Why is it I thought your words were true.
I never thought this of you.
Indications were few.
A'las it's time
to accept it's time to go.
I don't understand and I don't know.
The world now seems so small.
So insignificant.
All I want is to see the universe.
The unexplored areas of space and time.
You opened my mind.
to these possibilities.
Someday soon, I hope I can fly.
I hope to see
something way more than you or me.
Alone or together it doesn't matter.
Without anyone to hold me back
I know I can go a lot further.
It's what gives me the the strength
to risk the great unknown.
Alone I can go so much further.
Don't worry, things will be better!
Maybe I'll get to see our savior.
Maybe I'll waive
waive to the angels.
As I pass by heaven.
I'll avoid the black depths of hell.
Oh don't worry I'll gain so many secrets.
There will be no one to tell.
And when, I reach the edge of the universe.
That invisible line between now and infinity.
I'll take another journey.
My destination is unknown.
It might even be crazy!
Don't worry I won't be lazy!!
So, I understand why you had to take your leave.
It's hard for me to believe.
I hope the best for only the best.
I have been the least.
I'll have a grand feast.
When the time is right.
I know you'll take flight.
And maybe one night,
You'll stop by.
And together we can share.
Share what it is that happened.
The mysteries of the universe will be known.
For you were the greatest mystery to me.
by graywolf 5/13/2012
What to say when it's time to say goodbye.
I'm not sure why, why not give a new try?
Why is it I thought your words were true.
I never thought this of you.
Indications were few.
A'las it's time
to accept it's time to go.
I don't understand and I don't know.
The world now seems so small.
So insignificant.
All I want is to see the universe.
The unexplored areas of space and time.
You opened my mind.
to these possibilities.
Someday soon, I hope I can fly.
I hope to see
something way more than you or me.
Alone or together it doesn't matter.
Without anyone to hold me back
I know I can go a lot further.
It's what gives me the the strength
to risk the great unknown.
Alone I can go so much further.
Don't worry, things will be better!
Maybe I'll get to see our savior.
Maybe I'll waive
waive to the angels.
As I pass by heaven.
I'll avoid the black depths of hell.
Oh don't worry I'll gain so many secrets.
There will be no one to tell.
And when, I reach the edge of the universe.
That invisible line between now and infinity.
I'll take another journey.
My destination is unknown.
It might even be crazy!
Don't worry I won't be lazy!!
So, I understand why you had to take your leave.
It's hard for me to believe.
I hope the best for only the best.
I have been the least.
I'll have a grand feast.
When the time is right.
I know you'll take flight.
And maybe one night,
You'll stop by.
And together we can share.
Share what it is that happened.
The mysteries of the universe will be known.
For you were the greatest mystery to me.
Friday, May 11, 2012
Friends
Well, this is just a narrative. I don't get life sometimes. I realize friends come and go and that's just part of life. But, it's the quality of people and the friends we keep in our lives that help determine the quality we have and I would hope we in term as friends help determine the quality of other's lives.
Several good, what I thought were friends, more or less, betrayed me by simply saying good bye. That they don't have time for me. Betrayed is a strong word, but, I'm not sure how to describe it. We shared a lot, we went through similar circumstances, and trusted each other. To just up and say goodbye seems rather belittling of a friendship.
I don't claims to be perfect. I have my own issues and I'm not afraid to admit that. I still value the people in my life. I take no one and nothing for granted. I don't know what I've done to deserve this, if I had done or said anything that would drive these people away. I would understand and agree with them and learn from it. However, to just tell me I don't have time to be your friend, doesn't tell me anything other than I'm not important. I'm not so arrogant as to think I'm the best thing since sliced bread. However, I like to think at the very least I offer positive encouragement, support, and build up others.
That I respect myself and others. That I would do anything for my friends. I can't do anything to change anyone's mind. I just wish people had the guts to tell me how I screwed up, if I screwed up. Telling me they don't have time for me doesn't tell me anything. It certainly doesn't explain why I suddenly have no priority in their lives. I didn't ask to be a high priority and never thought of myself as a high priority in my friend's lives. However, nothing is said to indicate why I'm no longer any priority. Why I deserve to just removed from the list of priorities.
If this has taught me anything, it has taught me to value the short time people are in my life. One never knows when others will leave my life just because they feel like it. I will cherish the time I have with any friends. For, life is ever changing and people will always come and go!
Several good, what I thought were friends, more or less, betrayed me by simply saying good bye. That they don't have time for me. Betrayed is a strong word, but, I'm not sure how to describe it. We shared a lot, we went through similar circumstances, and trusted each other. To just up and say goodbye seems rather belittling of a friendship.
I don't claims to be perfect. I have my own issues and I'm not afraid to admit that. I still value the people in my life. I take no one and nothing for granted. I don't know what I've done to deserve this, if I had done or said anything that would drive these people away. I would understand and agree with them and learn from it. However, to just tell me I don't have time to be your friend, doesn't tell me anything other than I'm not important. I'm not so arrogant as to think I'm the best thing since sliced bread. However, I like to think at the very least I offer positive encouragement, support, and build up others.
That I respect myself and others. That I would do anything for my friends. I can't do anything to change anyone's mind. I just wish people had the guts to tell me how I screwed up, if I screwed up. Telling me they don't have time for me doesn't tell me anything. It certainly doesn't explain why I suddenly have no priority in their lives. I didn't ask to be a high priority and never thought of myself as a high priority in my friend's lives. However, nothing is said to indicate why I'm no longer any priority. Why I deserve to just removed from the list of priorities.
If this has taught me anything, it has taught me to value the short time people are in my life. One never knows when others will leave my life just because they feel like it. I will cherish the time I have with any friends. For, life is ever changing and people will always come and go!
Saturday, April 21, 2012
It's Right and Wrong
It's Right and Wrong
by Graywolf 4/21/2012
The past is so wrong
the present so right.
It's so wrong and right.
The beady red eyes
staring in the night.
Ready to pounce.
What a fairy tale.
Is that all it is?
A time lost?
the past was wrong.
The present is right.
How does the world
stop being night?
Is there a brighter sight?
Why is it so easy to fight?
Where is the light?
Sometimes the past is wrong.
Sometimes the present is right.
Sometimes we all take flight.
Today I rule the world.
Tomorow I'm but a petty slave.
Let's forget it all at a rave.
Why is it I walk alone.
Yesterday, today, tomorrow.
I've always walked alone.
the past is wrong.
The present is right.
Alone it has always been.
The darkness of the universe consumes.
Beacons of light twinkling here and there.
They're too far.
Too far to care.
No shadows walk with me.
Only the lonely eyes stare.
They're empty
they're free.
Sometimes those eyes are so dreamy.
Lost in the wake of time.
Alone are the moments we walk.
Present to past.
The past is wrong.
The present is right.
Which when do we fight?
Will anyone understand my plight?
Can I just sprout wings and take flight?
When will we reach the end of the night?
The future is cold.
The past is wrong.
The present is right.
Someday we'll be alright.
Unfortunately tonight,
we're alone.
Simply Alone.
Nothing wrong.
It's what needs to be.
Who would understand me?
Who could possibly know?
Few have been to the hell I've been.
I got a small taste of heaven.
And now it's all bland.
Wish I could have my own band.
Play dance songs all night.
Gain a rhythm
let everyone put their hands in the air,
dance tonight, dance, dance tonight.
Never forget nights gone by.
the empty dark nights lost to time.
No sound or rhythm.
Now, hear the music play.
Soon, it could be day.
Depends if the sun comes out.
Depends if the sun shines.
I wish to climb the vines.
Into the heavens.
I wonder where they go.
Can heaven, ever again, I know?
A'las I must live in the now.
The past is wrong.
The present is right.
The future will someday be known.
Love has flown.
Now what?
I don't know.
But But, But,
Why, Why, Why?
Like a child I question all.
It's what leads me to fall
in the nights empty moon.
I'm loves bitch
Maybe some curse by a witch.
I'll probably never know what it is.
However, it'll always slap me upside the head.
Letting me know my place.
It might even be written on my face.
Maybe misdirected by lace.
Misplaced trust.
It's always a bust.
The past is wrong.
tomorrow is never done.
I must move on.
by Graywolf 4/21/2012
The past is so wrong
the present so right.
It's so wrong and right.
The beady red eyes
staring in the night.
Ready to pounce.
What a fairy tale.
Is that all it is?
A time lost?
the past was wrong.
The present is right.
How does the world
stop being night?
Is there a brighter sight?
Why is it so easy to fight?
Where is the light?
Sometimes the past is wrong.
Sometimes the present is right.
Sometimes we all take flight.
Today I rule the world.
Tomorow I'm but a petty slave.
Let's forget it all at a rave.
Why is it I walk alone.
Yesterday, today, tomorrow.
I've always walked alone.
the past is wrong.
The present is right.
Alone it has always been.
The darkness of the universe consumes.
Beacons of light twinkling here and there.
They're too far.
Too far to care.
No shadows walk with me.
Only the lonely eyes stare.
They're empty
they're free.
Sometimes those eyes are so dreamy.
Lost in the wake of time.
Alone are the moments we walk.
Present to past.
The past is wrong.
The present is right.
Which when do we fight?
Will anyone understand my plight?
Can I just sprout wings and take flight?
When will we reach the end of the night?
The future is cold.
The past is wrong.
The present is right.
Someday we'll be alright.
Unfortunately tonight,
we're alone.
Simply Alone.
Nothing wrong.
It's what needs to be.
Who would understand me?
Who could possibly know?
Few have been to the hell I've been.
I got a small taste of heaven.
And now it's all bland.
Wish I could have my own band.
Play dance songs all night.
Gain a rhythm
let everyone put their hands in the air,
dance tonight, dance, dance tonight.
Never forget nights gone by.
the empty dark nights lost to time.
No sound or rhythm.
Now, hear the music play.
Soon, it could be day.
Depends if the sun comes out.
Depends if the sun shines.
I wish to climb the vines.
Into the heavens.
I wonder where they go.
Can heaven, ever again, I know?
A'las I must live in the now.
The past is wrong.
The present is right.
The future will someday be known.
Love has flown.
Now what?
I don't know.
But But, But,
Why, Why, Why?
Like a child I question all.
It's what leads me to fall
in the nights empty moon.
I'm loves bitch
Maybe some curse by a witch.
I'll probably never know what it is.
However, it'll always slap me upside the head.
Letting me know my place.
It might even be written on my face.
Maybe misdirected by lace.
Misplaced trust.
It's always a bust.
The past is wrong.
tomorrow is never done.
I must move on.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Dancing in The Rain
Rain Dancer
by Graywolf 4/15/2012
Rain rain on my face.
Hope you can keep pace.
Your strands of hair are like
a rare beautiful lace!
Rain drops
join their friends in the puddle.
Come with me,
take my hand,
who knows where
we'll land!
Just fly with me
through the rain
where we go
somedays there'll be pain
However, I have little doubt
that there's something
something for each of us
to gain from each other.
The rain drops pelt us
don't fuss!
We'll land safely here or there.
Life has no price, no fair.
Let the rain run down your cheek.
Let it fall from our faces
like some slow falling grace.
There's so much to be had.
So much I've never known.
There's so much missing I know.
Oh, careful lest I admit I'm alone.
That's not my concern.
Alone is all I've known.
It's nothing new.
So, come with me, there's nothing to lose.
Life is a short fuse.
It's not a ruse.
Not some false journey.
Not something we have to do alone or together.
It is simply something to share.
There's nothing left to fear.
There's no one elses life I seek to bare.
I am here.
I am there.
I go no where.
I go everywhere.
I am who that I am.
I'm happy with that plan.
The rain may pour, yet life is not sour.
The puddles may rise and rivers may form.
The floods may threaten to drown.
There's still no reason to frown.
I've seen it all.
I came to a cliff and I did not fall.
The rain is only an indication of new life.
Come, see the transformation of my face.
I don't know my place, yet I know who I am.
See the new life on my face
as the rain drops trace the lines that have formed.
For here it is I am.
See me, dance in the rain.
There's no pain,
there's nothing to lose, everything to gain.
Dance in the rain.
We dance in the rain.
Embrace arms and hands wrapped around each other.
Slowly moving to the rhythm of the rain drops.
Sometimes it's a fast dance,
sometimes it's a slow embrace
as the rain drops pelt our face.
Join me on the journey.
become a rain dancer.
Palms in air,
Let each drop
be a symbol of the journey
Let the music never end.
Lead
follow
whatever it takes
Dance in the Rain!
by Graywolf 4/15/2012
Rain rain on my face.
Hope you can keep pace.
Your strands of hair are like
a rare beautiful lace!
Rain drops
join their friends in the puddle.
Come with me,
take my hand,
who knows where
we'll land!
Just fly with me
through the rain
where we go
somedays there'll be pain
However, I have little doubt
that there's something
something for each of us
to gain from each other.
The rain drops pelt us
don't fuss!
We'll land safely here or there.
Life has no price, no fair.
Let the rain run down your cheek.
Let it fall from our faces
like some slow falling grace.
There's so much to be had.
So much I've never known.
There's so much missing I know.
Oh, careful lest I admit I'm alone.
That's not my concern.
Alone is all I've known.
It's nothing new.
So, come with me, there's nothing to lose.
Life is a short fuse.
It's not a ruse.
Not some false journey.
Not something we have to do alone or together.
It is simply something to share.
There's nothing left to fear.
There's no one elses life I seek to bare.
I am here.
I am there.
I go no where.
I go everywhere.
I am who that I am.
I'm happy with that plan.
The rain may pour, yet life is not sour.
The puddles may rise and rivers may form.
The floods may threaten to drown.
There's still no reason to frown.
I've seen it all.
I came to a cliff and I did not fall.
The rain is only an indication of new life.
Come, see the transformation of my face.
I don't know my place, yet I know who I am.
See the new life on my face
as the rain drops trace the lines that have formed.
For here it is I am.
See me, dance in the rain.
There's no pain,
there's nothing to lose, everything to gain.
Dance in the rain.
We dance in the rain.
Embrace arms and hands wrapped around each other.
Slowly moving to the rhythm of the rain drops.
Sometimes it's a fast dance,
sometimes it's a slow embrace
as the rain drops pelt our face.
Join me on the journey.
become a rain dancer.
Palms in air,
Let each drop
be a symbol of the journey
Let the music never end.
Lead
follow
whatever it takes
Dance in the Rain!
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Wolf's Blog for April Fools
I would like to write something frivilous. Something believable, but nowhere near true for such a day as today. Something comical... Something crazy and silly. Yet, the thing that eludes my understanding is the most ironic, comical, crazy, and silly thing I can think of.
Though it's not really an April fools joke, at least not one of the traditional kind. Though sometimes this human concept does make me feel like a fool. But then again, as a baby just coming into this world, at least that's how it feels to me, i do feel like a fool. One person kindly told me week after week that I'm naive, ignorant, and completely unaware of what I don't know or understand. Granted, they didn't assist me in improving my understanding, they did help me to realize one thing. A baby is incognizant of what would happen if it could throw a fork at a person. It is our limits and preexisting knowledge of these dangers that us as adults would assist the baby in learning what is right and wrong.
Well, what I speak of is neither right or wrong, it is a human concept that eludes my understanding. Not that I seek to understand anything completely, however, I don't know enough to protect myself from myself, and as such I am incognizant of my own understanding.
It is comical because if one doesn't know what they're doing when messing with this, not only can people be hurt, but, people just laugh at the things I don't even see or know. Not that I blame them, I would laugh too if I knew what it was I was missing. Someday it'll make perfect sense to me and I'll laugh at myself. That day is most likely a long ways away. My understanding is pretty limited. Most people have a 15-20 year lead on learning about this over what I understand or know.
But, as the saying goes, what doesn't kill yah makes yah stronger. And knowing all I've been through, I know my strength of wolf spirit will allow me to shrug these things off and move on with learning when and where I can.
So, just as a newborn has to learn how to live and survive, so too as a newborn must I learn from scratch the rituals of love. Though I find many of the rituals and concepts pointless, frivilous, and pointless in and of themselves... Wolves just don't like to mess with such pointless things, but, yet, as a human, I must abide by the rituals of society. And as such I am but a newborn.
Though it's not really an April fools joke, at least not one of the traditional kind. Though sometimes this human concept does make me feel like a fool. But then again, as a baby just coming into this world, at least that's how it feels to me, i do feel like a fool. One person kindly told me week after week that I'm naive, ignorant, and completely unaware of what I don't know or understand. Granted, they didn't assist me in improving my understanding, they did help me to realize one thing. A baby is incognizant of what would happen if it could throw a fork at a person. It is our limits and preexisting knowledge of these dangers that us as adults would assist the baby in learning what is right and wrong.
Well, what I speak of is neither right or wrong, it is a human concept that eludes my understanding. Not that I seek to understand anything completely, however, I don't know enough to protect myself from myself, and as such I am incognizant of my own understanding.
It is comical because if one doesn't know what they're doing when messing with this, not only can people be hurt, but, people just laugh at the things I don't even see or know. Not that I blame them, I would laugh too if I knew what it was I was missing. Someday it'll make perfect sense to me and I'll laugh at myself. That day is most likely a long ways away. My understanding is pretty limited. Most people have a 15-20 year lead on learning about this over what I understand or know.
But, as the saying goes, what doesn't kill yah makes yah stronger. And knowing all I've been through, I know my strength of wolf spirit will allow me to shrug these things off and move on with learning when and where I can.
So, just as a newborn has to learn how to live and survive, so too as a newborn must I learn from scratch the rituals of love. Though I find many of the rituals and concepts pointless, frivilous, and pointless in and of themselves... Wolves just don't like to mess with such pointless things, but, yet, as a human, I must abide by the rituals of society. And as such I am but a newborn.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
The Bitter Cynic!
Bitchin
by Graywolf32 3/24/2012
The things that go wrong?
The things that go right?
Does it matter?
Everyones a critic!
Everyone's a Judge.
Where's my accusor?
Who am I but my own jury?
The argument goes beyond the stand!
I'm innocent, I've screwed up, but that's human.
I am who that I am.
Aah, but there's responsabilities,
expectations.
Disregard these and who knows where you'll land!
Being Loves bitch
leaves one stranded in the ditch.
And the clouds begin to cry.
Lightning blinks through the sky.
I wish I could fly!
Everyone's a cynic.
A bitter critic.
Leave it to friends
to say just the wrong things.
This is what I'll remember you by.
You asked me what I see and I told you the truth.
It purely innocent honesty.
And it was too much for you.
You couldn't face what it is I saw.
The closet door was slammed shut.
The skeletons did their victory dance.
As you took away your only chance.
I wonder what it was you really wanted?
You couldn't stand the truth.
For what I saw was purely
the pain and suffering.
Denial is an easier reality.
Upon a night,
You simply told me what
I didn't need to hear.
Nothing really more than my own fear.
Don't worry, I didn't let anyone too near.
What happened wasn't beyond expectation.
So the judge has decided.
The jury is out.
I have no idea what anything in life is about.
A bitter cynic just gives a shout:
Screw life no one cares what it's all about!
by Graywolf32 3/24/2012
The things that go wrong?
The things that go right?
Does it matter?
Everyones a critic!
Everyone's a Judge.
Where's my accusor?
Who am I but my own jury?
The argument goes beyond the stand!
I'm innocent, I've screwed up, but that's human.
I am who that I am.
Aah, but there's responsabilities,
expectations.
Disregard these and who knows where you'll land!
Being Loves bitch
leaves one stranded in the ditch.
And the clouds begin to cry.
Lightning blinks through the sky.
I wish I could fly!
Everyone's a cynic.
A bitter critic.
Leave it to friends
to say just the wrong things.
This is what I'll remember you by.
You asked me what I see and I told you the truth.
It purely innocent honesty.
And it was too much for you.
You couldn't face what it is I saw.
The closet door was slammed shut.
The skeletons did their victory dance.
As you took away your only chance.
I wonder what it was you really wanted?
You couldn't stand the truth.
For what I saw was purely
the pain and suffering.
Denial is an easier reality.
Upon a night,
You simply told me what
I didn't need to hear.
Nothing really more than my own fear.
Don't worry, I didn't let anyone too near.
What happened wasn't beyond expectation.
So the judge has decided.
The jury is out.
I have no idea what anything in life is about.
A bitter cynic just gives a shout:
Screw life no one cares what it's all about!
Monday, March 12, 2012
The Road There
The Road There
by graywolf32 3/12/2012.
In a city
beyond the horizon
full of colorful light
I walk amongst the people.
in a drab world
off in the distance
I see the light of day.
I imagine all the people there
that laugh and play.
I wonder from street to street.
Road to road
highway to highway.
Trying to find my way there.
There was a time.
One of its people
came to visit.
And in that moment.
The world had gained a new color.
It gained a new depth
Life in that moment
had gained new purpose.
I wanted to see for myself.
I begged the visitor
to let me see his house.
He smiled and left
taking with him
the life I had felt within.
I tried to follow ducking in and out
yet, there was nothing I could do but shout.
He was gone,
and I couldn't follow no more.
I watched the distant light
day and night.
It never dimmed.
I struggled to get there.
Nothing ever brought me closer.
The city was there.
However, all the roads I took
led nowhere.
by graywolf32 3/12/2012.
In a city
beyond the horizon
full of colorful light
I walk amongst the people.
in a drab world
off in the distance
I see the light of day.
I imagine all the people there
that laugh and play.
I wonder from street to street.
Road to road
highway to highway.
Trying to find my way there.
There was a time.
One of its people
came to visit.
And in that moment.
The world had gained a new color.
It gained a new depth
Life in that moment
had gained new purpose.
I wanted to see for myself.
I begged the visitor
to let me see his house.
He smiled and left
taking with him
the life I had felt within.
I tried to follow ducking in and out
yet, there was nothing I could do but shout.
He was gone,
and I couldn't follow no more.
I watched the distant light
day and night.
It never dimmed.
I struggled to get there.
Nothing ever brought me closer.
The city was there.
However, all the roads I took
led nowhere.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Realization
Sometimes, one does not realize level of damage done to them in life, until one finds an awesome person and they walk away from you because in essence, one is too damaged.
No, they would never say that, God bless them. They were an awesome person, that chose to think for me about how I should feel in response to them, than let me choose for myself how I do feel about them and what they say. As long as they feel they are hurting me, nothing real could ever be had.. It's sad that people are unable to see past their own thoughts and push others away as a result.
I will do what I always do. Fail. HA! No, this time I accept no responsibility for others actions. I failed to consider the repercussions to myself. I care about people, I have an innate ability to see the good in things and to see past the emotion and see logic in all things. It is this logic that I use to justify my existence. If I based my existence on how I felt. The truth of my reality would be that I wouldn't exist. Logic dictates my existence. To be humans is to have emotion. Someone last spring, taught me to not base decisions on emotions. I don't. And I didn't know it but I had a deep desire to be logical. To see things as rationally as possible. Sometimes, emotion and logic converge, and when they do, it's either intensely good or bad. I am convinced from a logical perspective now that the bad outweighs the good of human relations.
I tried to believe my friends, the people I trust the most in life, that maybe there's some rational truth in the myth that there's something so good in life, that it's worth having. People say it exists, I have yet to see it for myself.
I even told God, I would need to see him to fully believe him. Well, he doesn't answer to me thankfully, so, he didn't do that.
Logically, I have the next roughly 40 years of my life. Give or take 10 - 20 years. So, what do I do for the next 40 years? Obviously work, because well for some reason one needs money to exist. That's logical. So, what else is there from a logical perspective to do in life? I figure, I'll finish writing a few things, for it would be logical to someday assume others can and would see my writings. Whether or not they're good or meaningful is logically a judgement others would have to make for themselves.
The graywolf is happiest in packs with deep connections to its family. I have neither. So, I'm not the typical graywolf. That's o.k. though, because they are a fierce survivor and extremely resourceful.
No, they would never say that, God bless them. They were an awesome person, that chose to think for me about how I should feel in response to them, than let me choose for myself how I do feel about them and what they say. As long as they feel they are hurting me, nothing real could ever be had.. It's sad that people are unable to see past their own thoughts and push others away as a result.
I will do what I always do. Fail. HA! No, this time I accept no responsibility for others actions. I failed to consider the repercussions to myself. I care about people, I have an innate ability to see the good in things and to see past the emotion and see logic in all things. It is this logic that I use to justify my existence. If I based my existence on how I felt. The truth of my reality would be that I wouldn't exist. Logic dictates my existence. To be humans is to have emotion. Someone last spring, taught me to not base decisions on emotions. I don't. And I didn't know it but I had a deep desire to be logical. To see things as rationally as possible. Sometimes, emotion and logic converge, and when they do, it's either intensely good or bad. I am convinced from a logical perspective now that the bad outweighs the good of human relations.
I tried to believe my friends, the people I trust the most in life, that maybe there's some rational truth in the myth that there's something so good in life, that it's worth having. People say it exists, I have yet to see it for myself.
I even told God, I would need to see him to fully believe him. Well, he doesn't answer to me thankfully, so, he didn't do that.
Logically, I have the next roughly 40 years of my life. Give or take 10 - 20 years. So, what do I do for the next 40 years? Obviously work, because well for some reason one needs money to exist. That's logical. So, what else is there from a logical perspective to do in life? I figure, I'll finish writing a few things, for it would be logical to someday assume others can and would see my writings. Whether or not they're good or meaningful is logically a judgement others would have to make for themselves.
The graywolf is happiest in packs with deep connections to its family. I have neither. So, I'm not the typical graywolf. That's o.k. though, because they are a fierce survivor and extremely resourceful.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Random Thought
Malcontent
by Graywolf 3/7/2012
Malcontent's flaming eyes are fueled by the beating heart's discontent for life.
Malcontent's burning glare is snuffed in one of two ways:
Terminating the rhythmic beating
or the heart's pure embrace accepting into it's arms
the racing life force.
by Graywolf 3/7/2012
Malcontent's flaming eyes are fueled by the beating heart's discontent for life.
Malcontent's burning glare is snuffed in one of two ways:
Terminating the rhythmic beating
or the heart's pure embrace accepting into it's arms
the racing life force.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
WHY
by Graywolf 3/3/2012
Why am I here?
Why do I fear?
Why do I exist?
Why does the earth turn?
Why does the the son burn?
Why does the universe twinkle?
What is there for anyone here or there?
We all live.
Why do we live?
We all Die.
Why do we die?
Why do we try?
Why do we care?
Why do we cry?
It's not fair!
Why do we
do whatever it is we do?
Why do we love?
Why do we hate?
There's nothing for me.
I just wish to be set free.
Instead I'm forced to look down from this tree.
Look down upon life.
Like ants everything goes to and fro.
What is it I hope to gain?
Why would someone want someone
so fricken plain?
Love is overrated.
Life is a lie.
Hate requires too much energy.
Pain is just too surreal.
Detach.
Float away.
Fly, fly away.
Like a butterfly.
Flapping wings
take me into the sky.
What purpose is there.
If there is no reason?
Then why is death treason?
Standing on the tree of life
time goes on.
Into fast forward the people streak on by.
I can see all their strife.
Why do they care?
Why don't they share?
Why do they always try to be a pair?
What is it that drives them on?
For their little ant like lives are fleeting.
Only so many beats in a heart that's beating.
Why do they go on?
What moves them?
I wonder what drives them on?
I wonder why do I try?
There's no answer.
Maybe try no more.
Just going through the motions.
I have no preconceived notions.
Life exists
with or without me
for no apparent reason.
I may ask Why?
Yet, there's no point.
Many would say all that matters
is inconceivable to me.
Love.
WHy?
Love.
Why?
This could go on forever.
I don't know what's true.
What is life?
Why is life?
I must move on.
I have no clue
when mine is done.
by Graywolf 3/3/2012
Why am I here?
Why do I fear?
Why do I exist?
Why does the earth turn?
Why does the the son burn?
Why does the universe twinkle?
What is there for anyone here or there?
We all live.
Why do we live?
We all Die.
Why do we die?
Why do we try?
Why do we care?
Why do we cry?
It's not fair!
Why do we
do whatever it is we do?
Why do we love?
Why do we hate?
There's nothing for me.
I just wish to be set free.
Instead I'm forced to look down from this tree.
Look down upon life.
Like ants everything goes to and fro.
What is it I hope to gain?
Why would someone want someone
so fricken plain?
Love is overrated.
Life is a lie.
Hate requires too much energy.
Pain is just too surreal.
Detach.
Float away.
Fly, fly away.
Like a butterfly.
Flapping wings
take me into the sky.
What purpose is there.
If there is no reason?
Then why is death treason?
Standing on the tree of life
time goes on.
Into fast forward the people streak on by.
I can see all their strife.
Why do they care?
Why don't they share?
Why do they always try to be a pair?
What is it that drives them on?
For their little ant like lives are fleeting.
Only so many beats in a heart that's beating.
Why do they go on?
What moves them?
I wonder what drives them on?
I wonder why do I try?
There's no answer.
Maybe try no more.
Just going through the motions.
I have no preconceived notions.
Life exists
with or without me
for no apparent reason.
I may ask Why?
Yet, there's no point.
Many would say all that matters
is inconceivable to me.
Love.
WHy?
Love.
Why?
This could go on forever.
I don't know what's true.
What is life?
Why is life?
I must move on.
I have no clue
when mine is done.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Existence
Existence
2/28/2012
As one nears
the memory of
a time so distant.
The day allocated to remembering
when one took their first breath.
Did you laugh or cry?
Were you cute or silly?
No, you don't remember.
That day so long ago.
When the world was asked to wait
wait while you grew up.
Somedays you threw up.
Others you laughed and played.
Always your thoughts
were elsewhere, never here.
Never now.
They were always looking
looking for tomorrow.
As time went on and seemed to pass you by
you stood and wondered what it would be like to fly?
Still as a child,
the other kids, laughed, cried, and played.
While you were alone and dismayed.
The times seems so simple
there was nothing every wrong
and all was right.
No one could have possibly understood
your plight.
You were a child, one who's mind
had taken flight.
You left the confines of your body
to exist beyond space and time.
For when you were there
held in the confines of physical form
life was sour like a lime.
No one knew
where your mind flew.
No one knew why it flew.
Just take a breath and breathe a sigh.
For the life was a lie.
That life is dead.
There's nothing more to dread.
Yes, maybe some regrets.
These are things can never be corrected.
Maybe jealous of those gone on.
Maybe a little wishful thinking
of wishing what it'd be like
to exist in the great beyond.
Yet, so long ago.
You wanted nothing more to be
free from the cloak of childhood.
And, you wish
for the times when
For now just go curl up in your den.
Let the days go by.
Stop wondering why.
Stop dreaming and wishing you could fly.
Let the todays go.
And use all that you know.
It maybe hard alone.
Yet, it's what you
learned to live by.
There's no other
that can truly understand
where it is you've been
where you've gone
what you've done
and where you wish to go.
So, for now,
just go with the flow.
Let time slip by.
and then maybe
you'll learn to fly.
And if not.
That's o.k. too.
For the tomorrows
may or may not be for you.
Yet, somehow,
you'll know what to do.
2/28/2012
As one nears
the memory of
a time so distant.
The day allocated to remembering
when one took their first breath.
Did you laugh or cry?
Were you cute or silly?
No, you don't remember.
That day so long ago.
When the world was asked to wait
wait while you grew up.
Somedays you threw up.
Others you laughed and played.
Always your thoughts
were elsewhere, never here.
Never now.
They were always looking
looking for tomorrow.
As time went on and seemed to pass you by
you stood and wondered what it would be like to fly?
Still as a child,
the other kids, laughed, cried, and played.
While you were alone and dismayed.
The times seems so simple
there was nothing every wrong
and all was right.
No one could have possibly understood
your plight.
You were a child, one who's mind
had taken flight.
You left the confines of your body
to exist beyond space and time.
For when you were there
held in the confines of physical form
life was sour like a lime.
No one knew
where your mind flew.
No one knew why it flew.
Just take a breath and breathe a sigh.
For the life was a lie.
That life is dead.
There's nothing more to dread.
Yes, maybe some regrets.
These are things can never be corrected.
Maybe jealous of those gone on.
Maybe a little wishful thinking
of wishing what it'd be like
to exist in the great beyond.
Yet, so long ago.
You wanted nothing more to be
free from the cloak of childhood.
And, you wish
for the times when
For now just go curl up in your den.
Let the days go by.
Stop wondering why.
Stop dreaming and wishing you could fly.
Let the todays go.
And use all that you know.
It maybe hard alone.
Yet, it's what you
learned to live by.
There's no other
that can truly understand
where it is you've been
where you've gone
what you've done
and where you wish to go.
So, for now,
just go with the flow.
Let time slip by.
and then maybe
you'll learn to fly.
And if not.
That's o.k. too.
For the tomorrows
may or may not be for you.
Yet, somehow,
you'll know what to do.
Unsettled!
Well, it's been awhile and this contains nothing more than a paragraph or two of just random thoughts and musings..... I just wanted to say, I've been busy finishing up teaching and finally getting my life in order to write more. I'm hoping to stay on track to finish my novel by June. I just put a brief amount of time into it this week and popped out 10 more pages or so. So, yeah, I've got lots of ideas and everything is coming along very well. I'm hoping to dedicate serious time to writing over the next couple of months to finish it. I've easily got another 200 pages or more of plot and story to write. I've got the emotional energy and mental energy to put into it now, so it's best to take advantage of that and put a lot of effort into it.
Nothing too critical has happened in my life at this point. I'm just proceeding to sit back, relax, and enjoy it some. I hope to have more actual writing posted here.. I wanted you all to know that my next novel adventure will most likely be the zombie apocalypse. I don't want to rehash any movie or any stories already done on zombies. So, this will continue the zombie diaries short story, with new characters, possibly far into the future from when zombie diaries took place, and it will be a completely slightly more real take on zombies in general. My goal is to convey a mature well thought out theme, amidst a comedic, yet, serious backdrop.
But first, I have a Novel to finish. Unlike the Zombie Apocalypse, (or some variation of that), I haven't in all the time I've been writing this novel thought of a title for it. For the one I'm writing right now.
I'm hoping to get it edited, have some cover artwork done, and post it as a cheap ebook on amazon. If I do, I will post the link here.
Nothing too critical has happened in my life at this point. I'm just proceeding to sit back, relax, and enjoy it some. I hope to have more actual writing posted here.. I wanted you all to know that my next novel adventure will most likely be the zombie apocalypse. I don't want to rehash any movie or any stories already done on zombies. So, this will continue the zombie diaries short story, with new characters, possibly far into the future from when zombie diaries took place, and it will be a completely slightly more real take on zombies in general. My goal is to convey a mature well thought out theme, amidst a comedic, yet, serious backdrop.
But first, I have a Novel to finish. Unlike the Zombie Apocalypse, (or some variation of that), I haven't in all the time I've been writing this novel thought of a title for it. For the one I'm writing right now.
I'm hoping to get it edited, have some cover artwork done, and post it as a cheap ebook on amazon. If I do, I will post the link here.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
The Toy
The Toy
by Graywolf 2/22/2012.
Who am I to argue
with that which exists beyond time.
Nothing more than a top
a childs toy that twirls
when you spin me round and round.
pull my strings and I'll even dance too.
All the functions
all the technology of the most
advanced angelic toy that exists.
Do demons play with such childish
playthings as I?
Or is it just heaven and its angels?
Who am I to question
that which exists beyond all creation.
My limited understanding,
my feeble mind.
My foolish notion.
Kill me again and again,
What era will I live through next?
Or is this life a one time hex?
Will the next one be
the past or present.
Always moving towards the future,
but, do all exist at once?
so, next life I could exist
as the neanderthall
that I've been?
When does the game end,
when can I stop spinning?
When will no longer matter
who's winning?
Call a truce,
make peace,
Juse leave me somewhere
even the refuse
will do.
One time,
I was maybe shiny and new
then I no longer pleased you.
Now, like the rest
I'm stashed somewhere
wondering if I'll ever be out again
my durability to be put to the test.
So, await, the rest of my fate
with abated breath.
Wondering if this toy
will ever find life or death.
by Graywolf 2/22/2012.
Who am I to argue
with that which exists beyond time.
Nothing more than a top
a childs toy that twirls
when you spin me round and round.
pull my strings and I'll even dance too.
All the functions
all the technology of the most
advanced angelic toy that exists.
Do demons play with such childish
playthings as I?
Or is it just heaven and its angels?
Who am I to question
that which exists beyond all creation.
My limited understanding,
my feeble mind.
My foolish notion.
Kill me again and again,
What era will I live through next?
Or is this life a one time hex?
Will the next one be
the past or present.
Always moving towards the future,
but, do all exist at once?
so, next life I could exist
as the neanderthall
that I've been?
When does the game end,
when can I stop spinning?
When will no longer matter
who's winning?
Call a truce,
make peace,
Juse leave me somewhere
even the refuse
will do.
One time,
I was maybe shiny and new
then I no longer pleased you.
Now, like the rest
I'm stashed somewhere
wondering if I'll ever be out again
my durability to be put to the test.
So, await, the rest of my fate
with abated breath.
Wondering if this toy
will ever find life or death.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
The Rabbit Hole
Well, I don't know what to say about this one. A friend of mine, inspired me to write this. We were talking and I discovered I have this abiltiy to go down a rabbit hole that leads to a world of madness and insanity. I don't know if it's my way of avoiding uncomfortable topics, or just the way my brain works. But, regardless, I don't know what I'm doing! Ha!
The Rabbit Hole
by Graywolf 2/18/2012
Here and there
we pass through a dark corridor
I follow it's fluffy white tail.
Wait a second
Is it following me or am I following it?
So scared I'm going to fail.
Suddenly I'm falling as my arms flail.
Down down, or up up?
everything's all upside down.
Wondering when I'll splash and drown.
Finally, feet on the ground.
Or is it a cloud?
Soft and poofy
I walk ever so carefully.
The bunny is under me.
Twitching it's nose as it
displaces puffs of cloud.
I tired, and wondering
why the sound is so loud.
Here and there I hear a trumpeteer.
This is the bunny's hole.
Somedays I wish the bunny were a mole.
It twitches at me to follow.
We walk across cloud after cloud.
We look up and down.
the bunny has a frown.
It points at the ground.
It takes a running leap and jumps into my chest.
And I'm suddenly falling, wondering if
this furryThe critter really knows best.
A puff of dust rises as I strike the hard ground.
no bruises other than a bruised ego.
I walk around and a well mustached wooden toy
walks by and says Hello Amigo!!
I wave as the rigid toy walks by
Soon I walk into a green carpeted room.
Full of grass like carpet.
Soon the queen comes out,
she's clubbing every one and calling
them all a lazy lout!
The army of spades
and various crazy looking creatures come out.
The queen floats up to me on her brilliantly
red cartoon carpet.
She clubs me over the head with her broom!
She gives me a glare that sentences me with doom.
She stops to stare, then hads a crumpled piece of paper.
A loud obnoxious squirrel chitters and chatters as it
hyperly reads the paper.
It stands up bushy tail held high.
And in a booming roar.
Says, it is decided "You do not belong here."
I sigh in relief, knowing fully well, this bunny
had led me astray.
I acknowledge the statement
and ask a tree standing next to me
how do I get out of here.
The whole army being laughing in an uproar.
They told me I am sentenced to nowhere.
It's far from here.
I'm wondering how I get there.
They all eyed me silently.
They said, I've arrived...
As their voices quieted.
They left and disappeared.
The darkness closed in.
This was the sentence carried out.
I don't know what this world is about.
I don't understand the tree or green carpeted room.
Nor did I fully understand the queen of doom.
Yet, somehow, I 've found the place I belong.
It's a land of nowhere.
I didn't know I was already there!
I sit down and stop and stare.
There's nothing around me, no light or splinter.
No fire or tree.
There's just me.
I guess this is how it should be.
The Rabbit Hole
by Graywolf 2/18/2012
Here and there
we pass through a dark corridor
I follow it's fluffy white tail.
Wait a second
Is it following me or am I following it?
So scared I'm going to fail.
Suddenly I'm falling as my arms flail.
Down down, or up up?
everything's all upside down.
Wondering when I'll splash and drown.
Finally, feet on the ground.
Or is it a cloud?
Soft and poofy
I walk ever so carefully.
The bunny is under me.
Twitching it's nose as it
displaces puffs of cloud.
I tired, and wondering
why the sound is so loud.
Here and there I hear a trumpeteer.
This is the bunny's hole.
Somedays I wish the bunny were a mole.
It twitches at me to follow.
We walk across cloud after cloud.
We look up and down.
the bunny has a frown.
It points at the ground.
It takes a running leap and jumps into my chest.
And I'm suddenly falling, wondering if
this furryThe critter really knows best.
A puff of dust rises as I strike the hard ground.
no bruises other than a bruised ego.
I walk around and a well mustached wooden toy
walks by and says Hello Amigo!!
I wave as the rigid toy walks by
Soon I walk into a green carpeted room.
Full of grass like carpet.
Soon the queen comes out,
she's clubbing every one and calling
them all a lazy lout!
The army of spades
and various crazy looking creatures come out.
The queen floats up to me on her brilliantly
red cartoon carpet.
She clubs me over the head with her broom!
She gives me a glare that sentences me with doom.
She stops to stare, then hads a crumpled piece of paper.
A loud obnoxious squirrel chitters and chatters as it
hyperly reads the paper.
It stands up bushy tail held high.
And in a booming roar.
Says, it is decided "You do not belong here."
I sigh in relief, knowing fully well, this bunny
had led me astray.
I acknowledge the statement
and ask a tree standing next to me
how do I get out of here.
The whole army being laughing in an uproar.
They told me I am sentenced to nowhere.
It's far from here.
I'm wondering how I get there.
They all eyed me silently.
They said, I've arrived...
As their voices quieted.
They left and disappeared.
The darkness closed in.
This was the sentence carried out.
I don't know what this world is about.
I don't understand the tree or green carpeted room.
Nor did I fully understand the queen of doom.
Yet, somehow, I 've found the place I belong.
It's a land of nowhere.
I didn't know I was already there!
I sit down and stop and stare.
There's nothing around me, no light or splinter.
No fire or tree.
There's just me.
I guess this is how it should be.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Sometimes I Wonder
I've been writing more lately (in case you couldn't tell). HA! Unfortunately I haven't gotten to my novel, and so shorter pieces are all I have time for, until I'm done teaching. However, I needed to honor someone in my life. Someone very special. I don't know what the future holds. Whether there's more than a few days or a few months. But, you know, it doesn't matter. I just simply am keeping an open mind, seeing how things go. I'm not forcing anything, I'm simply enjoying what I have.
I write this in dedication to someone very special that is enriching my life. That I pray I am also enriching there's. And well, with valentines coming up. I think this is very appropriate for the season....
Sometimes I wonder
by Graywolf 2/12/2012
Sometimes, I wonder
where you were.
Sometimes I wonder
what's in the future?
I want to look ahead
and see your beautiful eyes
that carefree smile.
how many times
do I pick up and the phone
and find it's you I am about to dial.
Then I put it down and go my way.
There's so much I wish to say.
yet, it is your actions that keep me simply happy.
Yo show me my value to you.
It is simply how you look at me
and your consideration and care.
It's that depth of understanding we share.
I know it hasn't been long.
So, I don't know if any of this is real or true.
It's been a short time.
A few weeks,
and though the time passes quickly
there's so much to learn and know.
One minute I think I know you.
And the next I'm starting new.
Sometimes I'm intimidated
and others I find your sensitive.
It's really nice to see the concern
that comes across those caring eyes.
Though I assure that there's nothing wrong,
Your careful consideration and care come off strong.
It's your actions.
I know I've turned your world upside down.
I know I'm different
I know I don't know how to be or act.
I know it's pretty close to a fact.
I know I don't have much to offer.
I know that sometimes I give too much.
And at times, I'm oblivious to when I give too little.
I know that I'm flawed
and many imperfections are within.
I know at times you're intimidated
by my intelligence.
If you only knew how silly I feel
when put up next to your wise experience.
Though I could coordinate an activity
and sell a project to the highest level exective.
When I come up to you,
I'm but a teenager, learning for the first time
what its like to simply kiss.
And I'm highly impressionable,
subject to silly bliss.
I know few if any understand me.
I know I'm alone in the issues that plague me.
I've accepted my life for what it is.
I've accepted I'm alone in this.
Yet you enrich me,
and I enrich you.
And somehow we work
despite how different I am from you.
I know there's a purpose.
Whether it's just a momentory stop
along my path to wherever it is I'm going.
Or this is a more serious place to rest.
I don't know what's best.
for now though, I know I am
where I am supposed to be.
Though, my strangeness
may scare you away,
I hope you don't flee.
I like that you're in my life.
I like that you want me in your life.
And in all seroiusness.
I want you with me.
Sometimes I wonder
am I too different
for anyone.
I set aside my concern
and I leave it to one whom
can maybe my life discern.
I see the pattern.
I see the strange dream.
He takes me from one to the next.
Teaching me, as I enrich and teach others.
the path is hard, there's no stopping it seems.
There seems to be no rest.
So much to do.
I get tired and just want to lay my head
down next to you.
Sometimes I wonder
where it is I go.
What it is I do.
What am I to you.
Sometimes I wonder
can I be even remotely
someone that enriches you.
sometimes I wonder
If i can be half as much as you are to me
then maybe
we'll be even.
Sometimes I wonder.
If I can ever be enough for you.
I guess as long as we live
in the moment, here and now.
We'll just have to wait and see
How our worlds collide
between you and me.
I write this in dedication to someone very special that is enriching my life. That I pray I am also enriching there's. And well, with valentines coming up. I think this is very appropriate for the season....
Sometimes I wonder
by Graywolf 2/12/2012
Sometimes, I wonder
where you were.
Sometimes I wonder
what's in the future?
I want to look ahead
and see your beautiful eyes
that carefree smile.
how many times
do I pick up and the phone
and find it's you I am about to dial.
Then I put it down and go my way.
There's so much I wish to say.
yet, it is your actions that keep me simply happy.
Yo show me my value to you.
It is simply how you look at me
and your consideration and care.
It's that depth of understanding we share.
I know it hasn't been long.
So, I don't know if any of this is real or true.
It's been a short time.
A few weeks,
and though the time passes quickly
there's so much to learn and know.
One minute I think I know you.
And the next I'm starting new.
Sometimes I'm intimidated
and others I find your sensitive.
It's really nice to see the concern
that comes across those caring eyes.
Though I assure that there's nothing wrong,
Your careful consideration and care come off strong.
It's your actions.
I know I've turned your world upside down.
I know I'm different
I know I don't know how to be or act.
I know it's pretty close to a fact.
I know I don't have much to offer.
I know that sometimes I give too much.
And at times, I'm oblivious to when I give too little.
I know that I'm flawed
and many imperfections are within.
I know at times you're intimidated
by my intelligence.
If you only knew how silly I feel
when put up next to your wise experience.
Though I could coordinate an activity
and sell a project to the highest level exective.
When I come up to you,
I'm but a teenager, learning for the first time
what its like to simply kiss.
And I'm highly impressionable,
subject to silly bliss.
I know few if any understand me.
I know I'm alone in the issues that plague me.
I've accepted my life for what it is.
I've accepted I'm alone in this.
Yet you enrich me,
and I enrich you.
And somehow we work
despite how different I am from you.
I know there's a purpose.
Whether it's just a momentory stop
along my path to wherever it is I'm going.
Or this is a more serious place to rest.
I don't know what's best.
for now though, I know I am
where I am supposed to be.
Though, my strangeness
may scare you away,
I hope you don't flee.
I like that you're in my life.
I like that you want me in your life.
And in all seroiusness.
I want you with me.
Sometimes I wonder
am I too different
for anyone.
I set aside my concern
and I leave it to one whom
can maybe my life discern.
I see the pattern.
I see the strange dream.
He takes me from one to the next.
Teaching me, as I enrich and teach others.
the path is hard, there's no stopping it seems.
There seems to be no rest.
So much to do.
I get tired and just want to lay my head
down next to you.
Sometimes I wonder
where it is I go.
What it is I do.
What am I to you.
Sometimes I wonder
can I be even remotely
someone that enriches you.
sometimes I wonder
If i can be half as much as you are to me
then maybe
we'll be even.
Sometimes I wonder.
If I can ever be enough for you.
I guess as long as we live
in the moment, here and now.
We'll just have to wait and see
How our worlds collide
between you and me.
O.k. well, It's been an awesome night. This has been a change in my life that is different. One that I can't process or fully understand, but that I embrace fully!! This is a good thing for me and it's all amazing.
I'm channeling this newfound positive energy that is a paradox to this time of year for me. I'm not going into any details. However, I've had something inspired by Evanescence that I wanted to write. It's been in the back of my my mind. I hate to write it now, but, it's something I need to write.
So, I want to preface this with the fact this has nothing to do with this day or this night. Everything has been awesome. I have to write what has been impressed on my mind in the last week or so.
Here it is.
Self deprication
by Graywolf 2/12/2012.
The voices they clamor for dominance.
"You'll never be good enough".
"You will fail"
"You don't deserve to know what has been denied."
"You don't deserve that which is ahead."
They all say their words.
They all fight to be at the forefront.
Who am I to stand in their way?
To fight is to lose.
So, what do I choose?
I go on,
hoping there's more for me to find.
Yet, it seems all my friends are here.
What is it they say?
"Why try."
"best to let the hopes of the future die".
"Might as well attempt to fly."
The voices snicker and echo.
They're always there.
They know life isn't fair.
Yet, they claim me.
All I want is to be free from their incessent words.
wake me up from this world.
Why can't they leave me alone?
What is it I've done.
What curse is this?
Fuck this!
I hate them.
I hate them.
Claw them.
Grasp them.
Rip them out,
rip them out.
I just want to shout.
Why is it
the voices I cannot doubt?
"Pain is your game"
"We'll always be here to keep things the same".
"You're so lame."
Be gone.
Be done.
Let me be.
I run free.
Like the wind.
I rustle the leaves.
I jump in the long grass.
I run fast.
Let the voices go.
Let the voices go.
I wish to no longer know.
I know not the future.
I release the past.
Voices be gone.
May the defeaning silence last.
"You'll fail."
They're still here.
When is it they'll set sail?
"You're unlovable"
"you don't belong"
be gone!
the fight is meaningless.
they'll never let go.
To give in.
Or to keep fightin.
Plodding into the future.
I don't know what's there.
One things for sure.
The voices will always be here.
I'm channeling this newfound positive energy that is a paradox to this time of year for me. I'm not going into any details. However, I've had something inspired by Evanescence that I wanted to write. It's been in the back of my my mind. I hate to write it now, but, it's something I need to write.
So, I want to preface this with the fact this has nothing to do with this day or this night. Everything has been awesome. I have to write what has been impressed on my mind in the last week or so.
Here it is.
Self deprication
by Graywolf 2/12/2012.
The voices they clamor for dominance.
"You'll never be good enough".
"You will fail"
"You don't deserve to know what has been denied."
"You don't deserve that which is ahead."
They all say their words.
They all fight to be at the forefront.
Who am I to stand in their way?
To fight is to lose.
So, what do I choose?
I go on,
hoping there's more for me to find.
Yet, it seems all my friends are here.
What is it they say?
"Why try."
"best to let the hopes of the future die".
"Might as well attempt to fly."
The voices snicker and echo.
They're always there.
They know life isn't fair.
Yet, they claim me.
All I want is to be free from their incessent words.
wake me up from this world.
Why can't they leave me alone?
What is it I've done.
What curse is this?
Fuck this!
I hate them.
I hate them.
Claw them.
Grasp them.
Rip them out,
rip them out.
I just want to shout.
Why is it
the voices I cannot doubt?
"Pain is your game"
"We'll always be here to keep things the same".
"You're so lame."
Be gone.
Be done.
Let me be.
I run free.
Like the wind.
I rustle the leaves.
I jump in the long grass.
I run fast.
Let the voices go.
Let the voices go.
I wish to no longer know.
I know not the future.
I release the past.
Voices be gone.
May the defeaning silence last.
"You'll fail."
They're still here.
When is it they'll set sail?
"You're unlovable"
"you don't belong"
be gone!
the fight is meaningless.
they'll never let go.
To give in.
Or to keep fightin.
Plodding into the future.
I don't know what's there.
One things for sure.
The voices will always be here.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Used
Used
by Graywolf32 2/8/2012
Use
Used
A tool to be used.
a tool to be thrashed and abused.
A tool used by the user.
whom wields me and drives me into the ground?
Whom sees me for what I am.
whom knows the truth of my reality?
I seek out the thickest tree
and I'm embedded deep in its bark.
I light the night when its dark.
I start the car when its cold.
I produce furiture.
I do all that is asked of me.
I am a tool.
In the hands of a skilled worker,
I'm artistic by nature.
In the hands of a careless lout
I can only do so much, there's no doubt.
I'm a tool.
used by the great user.
Sometimes I bring joy as I serve my purpose.
Sometimes I bring about great sadness.
there's no rhyme or reason other than to serve my purpose.
I'm a tool
hammers and chisels are my friends.
Cold hard steel.
there's nothing more to feel.
Time is sometimes the ageless enemy,
sometimes it's the most convenient closest of friends.
sometimes it is fleeting by fast, sometimes, it's of the slowest snail pace.
Whatever the case, it is the one thing a tool must face.
whether used by many or one.
Or just there to wonder into lives.
Do what I can, then move on.
Sometimes years gone by,
sometimes merely days
before I take my leave.
I bring a smile, maybe two.
I keep something to keep my memory
of each of you.
then, the forces that be
make me see my reality.
I'm a tool, inhumane,
lacking anything.
I serve a purpose
which is to simply serve.
It's a vicious circle.
It's all I know.
My energy is not
reserved for me.
That would be selfish
So, i give,
endlessly
like a battery.
I've contributed
much energy
to the synergy of smiles
upon others.
And those smiles
start to see me as a bother
that's when I know.
time to move on to another.
And then
I go on and on.
There's nothing
I reserve for me.
There was a time
when I was asked
Why did you give
that which was desired
after I was turned away.
And I simply knew,
what happened to me
didn't matter.
The fact is,
what little I give
what little I gave
made someone's world
a little better.
For the path is narrow.
Few that find it.
I do not choose this path
because it's one that will last
or I'll have the time of my life.
It's a choice I make
to give to others what they will take.
I do not hold anyone accountable.
My will is indominable.
I am a tool.
Wielded and used
to serve a purpose.
And in so doing.
maybe the world will be better.
and no, no single minor act will be remembered.
That's o.k.
because maybe.
it inspired.
maybe, some of the greatest art.
Some of the greatest actors.
Maybe some of the greatest writers.
Maybe some of the greatest amongst us.
will be influenced by a single act.
And maybe that act
is all it took for one soul to go on
and inspire others, and those went on.
And in so doing my purpose is done.
by Graywolf32 2/8/2012
Use
Used
A tool to be used.
a tool to be thrashed and abused.
A tool used by the user.
whom wields me and drives me into the ground?
Whom sees me for what I am.
whom knows the truth of my reality?
I seek out the thickest tree
and I'm embedded deep in its bark.
I light the night when its dark.
I start the car when its cold.
I produce furiture.
I do all that is asked of me.
I am a tool.
In the hands of a skilled worker,
I'm artistic by nature.
In the hands of a careless lout
I can only do so much, there's no doubt.
I'm a tool.
used by the great user.
Sometimes I bring joy as I serve my purpose.
Sometimes I bring about great sadness.
there's no rhyme or reason other than to serve my purpose.
I'm a tool
hammers and chisels are my friends.
Cold hard steel.
there's nothing more to feel.
Time is sometimes the ageless enemy,
sometimes it's the most convenient closest of friends.
sometimes it is fleeting by fast, sometimes, it's of the slowest snail pace.
Whatever the case, it is the one thing a tool must face.
whether used by many or one.
Or just there to wonder into lives.
Do what I can, then move on.
Sometimes years gone by,
sometimes merely days
before I take my leave.
I bring a smile, maybe two.
I keep something to keep my memory
of each of you.
then, the forces that be
make me see my reality.
I'm a tool, inhumane,
lacking anything.
I serve a purpose
which is to simply serve.
It's a vicious circle.
It's all I know.
My energy is not
reserved for me.
That would be selfish
So, i give,
endlessly
like a battery.
I've contributed
much energy
to the synergy of smiles
upon others.
And those smiles
start to see me as a bother
that's when I know.
time to move on to another.
And then
I go on and on.
There's nothing
I reserve for me.
There was a time
when I was asked
Why did you give
that which was desired
after I was turned away.
And I simply knew,
what happened to me
didn't matter.
The fact is,
what little I give
what little I gave
made someone's world
a little better.
For the path is narrow.
Few that find it.
I do not choose this path
because it's one that will last
or I'll have the time of my life.
It's a choice I make
to give to others what they will take.
I do not hold anyone accountable.
My will is indominable.
I am a tool.
Wielded and used
to serve a purpose.
And in so doing.
maybe the world will be better.
and no, no single minor act will be remembered.
That's o.k.
because maybe.
it inspired.
maybe, some of the greatest art.
Some of the greatest actors.
Maybe some of the greatest writers.
Maybe some of the greatest amongst us.
will be influenced by a single act.
And maybe that act
is all it took for one soul to go on
and inspire others, and those went on.
And in so doing my purpose is done.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Memoirs of the Wolf
Memoirs of the Wolf
Short by Graywolf 2/5/2012
Sometimes I walk out onto the the street and look both ways wondering which way to go. There's no one around the cars are silent the lights are off. There's nothingness. I sniff the air, it's void of anything living. The wolf wonders the streets, going through town. There's nothing, there's no one. the spring breeze flows throught he trees. Yet the wolf can sense nothing. No danger, no living, no dead, just nothing. It's this great empty that the wolf fears. This great empty the wolf fears anyone to know. For within this place the deep dark thoughts flow. Though they are kept at bay, the wolf looks around, quickly and franticly searching.
The wolf's fur is gray, it's tail is low between its legs. It searches franticly. Panic pressing in. Is there anyone around. Something drove the wolf to town. Yet, there's nothing, there's no one. Not even animals to gossip with. No squirrels or birds to chase. The wolf's hunger grows.
It runs faster and faster through the city's streets. Stopping and sniffing car to car. The doors of building after building. Yet, nothing. What to do? Keeping his nose raised into the air he searches . No scents still. the wolf wonders into the country away from what's left of civilization. He searches the barren land. The grass is green, yet there's nothing. Not even a worm. He runs up to a tree and paws at its bark, and speaks in the only language it knows... "Pardon me, Mr. Tree, have you seen anything living?" The tree's branches and leaves wave in the breeze. There's no response. He runs to the next one and the next one until he finds one that's not in the great slumber. "Mr. Tree, Mr. Tree, I'm in need of food and am unable to find anything or anyone to talk to. So, I'm trying to find out from you." The tree awakens from it's slumber, it's old and tall. It's branches withered from the harsh winter. Few leaves have formed.
The tree lets out a loud yawn and speaks, slowly as though just waking up from a long sleep. "Mr. Wolf, I presume. The animals have gone. You're alone."
The wolf's fur bristles and it lets out a growl. Not know or understanding the danger he's in. He begs the tree angrily to tell him the truth. "Your hope has moved on, you're here, it's a choice you've made... so, curl up in my shade, and take a rest. There's nothing left." The wolf angry claws the trees bark and a willowy branch comes down and smacks the wolf away.
"You've chosen your place great wolf. This empty place is where you've come, if it is not where you wish to be, then, by all means, be gone..."
The wolf runs up to the tree lays down and curls up. Head on its large front paws. It rests. Its eyes close.
"Time to get up, are you going to sleep your life away? " the mom Yells as the 10 year old boy struggles to awaken. Wondering about his dream. He rubs his hands to his eyes and finds them watery. What is it he had dreamed? What was the nightmare. There was a lingering fear. The child slowly makes his way to do the morning ritual. Decades later, the child looks in the mirror and sees himself buried deep within.
The wolf and the child flash before the man. All three had something in common. What it was the man could touch, but yet, not understand. Not yet, It wasn't until he later realized that the world he lived in, in which he was the only being left behind, was the world he had created himself.
Though things changed, and the young child, the wise, naive wolf, and the man, had found a way to merge their lives over time. And gain acceptance of themselves. It was at this point though, the man knew the world he had created. Was a world he could never go back to. He left, it, the empty dark place where nothing existed but a single lonely willowy tree. And though the tree remained, it was simply a guide. A warning to all that went there to realize they would be stuck there forever, if they made the choice to make that empty place their home.
The wolf, the man, the boy, each made the decision, to move on, to the world of the living. To the world in which life abounded and existed. The world where the streets and homes were not empty. The world where the birds still sang their songs and the squirrels still played their silly, nutty games. It was in this world that the man, child, and wolf found their joy. Though, their fear, their memory, of that empty dark place, would never leave them. They always had that place in mind, it was that place that tied the three together. It was that place, they forever feared. It was that place they could never ever linger without being pulled in completely. It was that place that each avoided with strong conviction. This made all three a little sensitive and a little uneasy. Always uncertain what would trigger the next descent into that empty world.
Yet, They did all they could, to avoid that place. And in that hope and that purpose, they lived on. For the remainder of their days they worked to support each other, never being alone again. For each, the Wolf, the boy, and the man, served each other's purpose. It is in this that they were able to save each other from that empty place of despair. No one else was needed, they prefered the company of others, to help them reenforce each other, yet, they valued their time simply to be alone with each other.
The landscape of that empty dieing world turned intolerable with the grass becoming hot and barren, dry desert covered much of the land. Without anyone to come and attend to it, it became a dieing place. Yet, where the man, the boy, and the wolf lived on, thrived, with life abundantly. They were there for each other, for all their days. And over time even the desert simply began to be nothing but a distant memory.
Short by Graywolf 2/5/2012
Sometimes I walk out onto the the street and look both ways wondering which way to go. There's no one around the cars are silent the lights are off. There's nothingness. I sniff the air, it's void of anything living. The wolf wonders the streets, going through town. There's nothing, there's no one. the spring breeze flows throught he trees. Yet the wolf can sense nothing. No danger, no living, no dead, just nothing. It's this great empty that the wolf fears. This great empty the wolf fears anyone to know. For within this place the deep dark thoughts flow. Though they are kept at bay, the wolf looks around, quickly and franticly searching.
The wolf's fur is gray, it's tail is low between its legs. It searches franticly. Panic pressing in. Is there anyone around. Something drove the wolf to town. Yet, there's nothing, there's no one. Not even animals to gossip with. No squirrels or birds to chase. The wolf's hunger grows.
It runs faster and faster through the city's streets. Stopping and sniffing car to car. The doors of building after building. Yet, nothing. What to do? Keeping his nose raised into the air he searches . No scents still. the wolf wonders into the country away from what's left of civilization. He searches the barren land. The grass is green, yet there's nothing. Not even a worm. He runs up to a tree and paws at its bark, and speaks in the only language it knows... "Pardon me, Mr. Tree, have you seen anything living?" The tree's branches and leaves wave in the breeze. There's no response. He runs to the next one and the next one until he finds one that's not in the great slumber. "Mr. Tree, Mr. Tree, I'm in need of food and am unable to find anything or anyone to talk to. So, I'm trying to find out from you." The tree awakens from it's slumber, it's old and tall. It's branches withered from the harsh winter. Few leaves have formed.
The tree lets out a loud yawn and speaks, slowly as though just waking up from a long sleep. "Mr. Wolf, I presume. The animals have gone. You're alone."
The wolf's fur bristles and it lets out a growl. Not know or understanding the danger he's in. He begs the tree angrily to tell him the truth. "Your hope has moved on, you're here, it's a choice you've made... so, curl up in my shade, and take a rest. There's nothing left." The wolf angry claws the trees bark and a willowy branch comes down and smacks the wolf away.
"You've chosen your place great wolf. This empty place is where you've come, if it is not where you wish to be, then, by all means, be gone..."
The wolf runs up to the tree lays down and curls up. Head on its large front paws. It rests. Its eyes close.
"Time to get up, are you going to sleep your life away? " the mom Yells as the 10 year old boy struggles to awaken. Wondering about his dream. He rubs his hands to his eyes and finds them watery. What is it he had dreamed? What was the nightmare. There was a lingering fear. The child slowly makes his way to do the morning ritual. Decades later, the child looks in the mirror and sees himself buried deep within.
The wolf and the child flash before the man. All three had something in common. What it was the man could touch, but yet, not understand. Not yet, It wasn't until he later realized that the world he lived in, in which he was the only being left behind, was the world he had created himself.
Though things changed, and the young child, the wise, naive wolf, and the man, had found a way to merge their lives over time. And gain acceptance of themselves. It was at this point though, the man knew the world he had created. Was a world he could never go back to. He left, it, the empty dark place where nothing existed but a single lonely willowy tree. And though the tree remained, it was simply a guide. A warning to all that went there to realize they would be stuck there forever, if they made the choice to make that empty place their home.
The wolf, the man, the boy, each made the decision, to move on, to the world of the living. To the world in which life abounded and existed. The world where the streets and homes were not empty. The world where the birds still sang their songs and the squirrels still played their silly, nutty games. It was in this world that the man, child, and wolf found their joy. Though, their fear, their memory, of that empty dark place, would never leave them. They always had that place in mind, it was that place that tied the three together. It was that place, they forever feared. It was that place they could never ever linger without being pulled in completely. It was that place that each avoided with strong conviction. This made all three a little sensitive and a little uneasy. Always uncertain what would trigger the next descent into that empty world.
Yet, They did all they could, to avoid that place. And in that hope and that purpose, they lived on. For the remainder of their days they worked to support each other, never being alone again. For each, the Wolf, the boy, and the man, served each other's purpose. It is in this that they were able to save each other from that empty place of despair. No one else was needed, they prefered the company of others, to help them reenforce each other, yet, they valued their time simply to be alone with each other.
The landscape of that empty dieing world turned intolerable with the grass becoming hot and barren, dry desert covered much of the land. Without anyone to come and attend to it, it became a dieing place. Yet, where the man, the boy, and the wolf lived on, thrived, with life abundantly. They were there for each other, for all their days. And over time even the desert simply began to be nothing but a distant memory.
Balls!
Well, everyone, before I write this I just wanted to say hi to my fellow followers. I apologize to all of you that have been checking here now and then. I haven't written much lately (of anything). I've been busy, that's a bit of an understatement. As it is I'm struggling to have the energy to get my class work done. My career has been a bit of a disaster thanks to some changes that are keeping me walking on eggshells. A lot of triggers there, considering my past personal relationship...
Well, I have a person in my life that has been challenging me to think in new ways. She may or may not realize how much she challenges me, but, it's really refreshing to have someone that can challenge my thinking. Well, this is dedicated to the person that has challenged me. We were playing pool Friday and she says to me, "isn't the game of pool like the game of life... You avoid the 8 ball until it's completely inevitable and then one must face it." How many things in our life are like that 8 ball? We bounce around from ball to ball, trying to find a way to avoid that 8 ball. then, after we've exhausted all the possibilities we end up one on one with that last ball.
Coincidently this is a similar metaphor to the movie "The Gray". When Liam is faced one on one with fighting off the metaphorical alpha wolf. Most of us have that one thing we all have to face but do everything in our own power to avoid facing it. It can be whatever it is. I have had a lot of 8 balls in my life. I'm proud to say that as they pop up I face them now. Head on. I didn't used to.
I dedicate this to my friend who has inspired this. I dedicate this to all the people that read this. I know you all, whoever you are, have had things you don't wish to face and have a tough time struggling to face. I dedicate this to the struggles of the human race. May we face our "8 balls" together!
Balls!
by Graywolf 2/5/2012
Spinnning off upon the carpet of green
freely rolling from place to place.
Sometimes I feel so out of control.
Wondering where I next roll.
from ball to ball I hit.
Causing some strange cascading fit.
I sometimes wonder,
do the balls all roll away from me?
Or are they just rorganizing themselves?
Sometimes I run into you.
Sometimes I run into them.
Sometimes I just bounce off the sides.
I never know if I'm hitting solid or stripes.
I wish I knew where I was goin
and sometime I wish I knew my destination.
Sometimes I bask in knowing I'm just rolling around.
Someday, I may bump into you.
We share of ourselves for a brief moment in the universe.
It's that moment when our lives touch
just briefly.
Then we go on freely rolling our own way.
We all bounce around into each other.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm just a bother.
Yet, many of you have called me 'brother'.
Again, I go spinning as God's queue stick
pushes me into a new direction.
I bounce and roll and bounce some more.
I get to know a crowd for a moment
as it goes disbersing in its own directions.
Life is but a game.
I'm just a white ball that rolls around
with no claim to fame.
I wish I knew my goal, is it simply to
get some of you into God's pockets?
Or, am I simply to scratch?
I wish I knew how it is
I bounce around getting to know all
these awesome people.
Then I go on my way.
As I'm placed on the soft carpet of green.
I can never stay in the pocket too long.
My work is never ever done.
I go one.
From era to era, from time to time.
Putting the solids and stripes in God's pockets.
My life a testimony, my life a witness.
The angels all around look upon me and know
how things have been.
they know my end.
I see it in their eyes of brilliance.
I see the goal.
It's number a symbol for infinity.
It's single circle of white,
it knows my plight.
It stands there waiting.
Waiting for god to send me spinning into it's circle.
Just it and me.
I went from ball to ball
Hoping to flee this inevitability.
Here it is, the inevitable before me.
All I've wanted to do is flee.
Yet, here we are.
Two balls on a board,
both wanting to avoid God's final pockets.
When this is done, the game is over.
Seems a rather 'soberality'!
And wham, I'm off, aimed at that
infinite number.
And as we clash, the lightning flashes and thunders all around.
Heaven and hell collide in one booming sound.
It's though this was some epic battle.
Yet, it is just my demons and I.
Ants in a vast universe.
With billions of games going on all around.
this may seem epic,
actually this is just a simple topic
Each life it's own battle with that beady eyed 8 ball.
I strike true, thanks to God, with the push and shove,
I'm able to stem this battle and avoid the invitable for a while.
The little beady eyed ball rolls carelessly into the side pocket.
I casually roll away safely away, only for the game to start again.
It brings all its friends again.
I end up starting the process, and
over and over we roll into each other's life.
Time and again I get to know you, you get to know me.
We sometimes roll together for a while,
we sometimes roll away.
It's sometimes sad, it's some times a joy
to celebrate being free.
I roll around to not face that 8 ball alone,
yet, it's all been done.
Many times over.
There's no doover.
Yet, it always ends with that clash.
That final clash with eternity,
sometimes it's simply a closeted demon we try to flee.
Yet it's always there, always waiting, it never runs, it never is afraid.
It's always smugly waiting there watching us as we work hard to avoid it.
Take aim, and watch, as we shove that demon into God's pocket..
over and over.
Unfortunately it never gives up.
Yet, neither do we.
Locked in this struggle.
We grow and in this way, maybe
we somehow learn which way to roll.
Well, I have a person in my life that has been challenging me to think in new ways. She may or may not realize how much she challenges me, but, it's really refreshing to have someone that can challenge my thinking. Well, this is dedicated to the person that has challenged me. We were playing pool Friday and she says to me, "isn't the game of pool like the game of life... You avoid the 8 ball until it's completely inevitable and then one must face it." How many things in our life are like that 8 ball? We bounce around from ball to ball, trying to find a way to avoid that 8 ball. then, after we've exhausted all the possibilities we end up one on one with that last ball.
Coincidently this is a similar metaphor to the movie "The Gray". When Liam is faced one on one with fighting off the metaphorical alpha wolf. Most of us have that one thing we all have to face but do everything in our own power to avoid facing it. It can be whatever it is. I have had a lot of 8 balls in my life. I'm proud to say that as they pop up I face them now. Head on. I didn't used to.
I dedicate this to my friend who has inspired this. I dedicate this to all the people that read this. I know you all, whoever you are, have had things you don't wish to face and have a tough time struggling to face. I dedicate this to the struggles of the human race. May we face our "8 balls" together!
Balls!
by Graywolf 2/5/2012
Spinnning off upon the carpet of green
freely rolling from place to place.
Sometimes I feel so out of control.
Wondering where I next roll.
from ball to ball I hit.
Causing some strange cascading fit.
I sometimes wonder,
do the balls all roll away from me?
Or are they just rorganizing themselves?
Sometimes I run into you.
Sometimes I run into them.
Sometimes I just bounce off the sides.
I never know if I'm hitting solid or stripes.
I wish I knew where I was goin
and sometime I wish I knew my destination.
Sometimes I bask in knowing I'm just rolling around.
Someday, I may bump into you.
We share of ourselves for a brief moment in the universe.
It's that moment when our lives touch
just briefly.
Then we go on freely rolling our own way.
We all bounce around into each other.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm just a bother.
Yet, many of you have called me 'brother'.
Again, I go spinning as God's queue stick
pushes me into a new direction.
I bounce and roll and bounce some more.
I get to know a crowd for a moment
as it goes disbersing in its own directions.
Life is but a game.
I'm just a white ball that rolls around
with no claim to fame.
I wish I knew my goal, is it simply to
get some of you into God's pockets?
Or, am I simply to scratch?
I wish I knew how it is
I bounce around getting to know all
these awesome people.
Then I go on my way.
As I'm placed on the soft carpet of green.
I can never stay in the pocket too long.
My work is never ever done.
I go one.
From era to era, from time to time.
Putting the solids and stripes in God's pockets.
My life a testimony, my life a witness.
The angels all around look upon me and know
how things have been.
they know my end.
I see it in their eyes of brilliance.
I see the goal.
It's number a symbol for infinity.
It's single circle of white,
it knows my plight.
It stands there waiting.
Waiting for god to send me spinning into it's circle.
Just it and me.
I went from ball to ball
Hoping to flee this inevitability.
Here it is, the inevitable before me.
All I've wanted to do is flee.
Yet, here we are.
Two balls on a board,
both wanting to avoid God's final pockets.
When this is done, the game is over.
Seems a rather 'soberality'!
And wham, I'm off, aimed at that
infinite number.
And as we clash, the lightning flashes and thunders all around.
Heaven and hell collide in one booming sound.
It's though this was some epic battle.
Yet, it is just my demons and I.
Ants in a vast universe.
With billions of games going on all around.
this may seem epic,
actually this is just a simple topic
Each life it's own battle with that beady eyed 8 ball.
I strike true, thanks to God, with the push and shove,
I'm able to stem this battle and avoid the invitable for a while.
The little beady eyed ball rolls carelessly into the side pocket.
I casually roll away safely away, only for the game to start again.
It brings all its friends again.
I end up starting the process, and
over and over we roll into each other's life.
Time and again I get to know you, you get to know me.
We sometimes roll together for a while,
we sometimes roll away.
It's sometimes sad, it's some times a joy
to celebrate being free.
I roll around to not face that 8 ball alone,
yet, it's all been done.
Many times over.
There's no doover.
Yet, it always ends with that clash.
That final clash with eternity,
sometimes it's simply a closeted demon we try to flee.
Yet it's always there, always waiting, it never runs, it never is afraid.
It's always smugly waiting there watching us as we work hard to avoid it.
Take aim, and watch, as we shove that demon into God's pocket..
over and over.
Unfortunately it never gives up.
Yet, neither do we.
Locked in this struggle.
We grow and in this way, maybe
we somehow learn which way to roll.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Enlightened
Past, Future, Present
by Graywolf 1/29/2012
Memories of the past become legend.
The dreams of the future become hopes.
I'm happy knowing that now is the when in which I live.
by Graywolf 1/29/2012
Memories of the past become legend.
The dreams of the future become hopes.
I'm happy knowing that now is the when in which I live.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Not a lot to say peeps. I have many thoughts and musings. It's hard to sort them out into a coherent flow of words. However, I do have something to say. It's not something I'm going to describe. This one, each has to figure out for themselves and how it applies to each of you readers.
Well, I just finished writing this, and I will say something. The harsh reality is that I've always had a knack for seeing past lies. Maybe it's just my steadfast approach to reality. I don't know. I've just always dubbed myself a realist, a believer in the truth. However, I kinda at some point overstepped and began to believe in denial and gave up my belief in the truth. I instead embraced lies, embraced abuse, and embraced everything that was not healthy for me and existed so far outside of truth that my head almost lived in another dimension. The dimension of lies.
I don't know if that makes sense. However, while my eyes were closed, while I denied the life I was living, while I lived in a veil. I thought somehow that everything was easy. I believed lie after lie. I told myself lie after lie, and when I opened my eyes... the world unraveled before me and I realized I had lived in some form of fantasy. And once again I embraced the truth. I sent the lies away from me. And now, as I look upon reality. Family, friends, and those around me, I realize, many cannot handle my embracement of honesty. It terrifies many. Causes many to run away. They flee, fearing their reflection.
I guess we all, at one point or another, grow comfortable, and even defend our own denial, embracing our entrenched lies more than reality. It's too bad. Because you know what? I'm a caring, loving, kind person. My honesty is nothing more, than a reflection of life. No, I don't go around stating brutally honest thoughts that are harmful. Nor do I go around disguising the truth. I say what's on my mind with complete respect and regard for others. I point out the things that seem obvious to me. Others, spend as much time trying to deny my perceptions. I don't embrace I'm always right. I have sincerely embraced false things that I thought were truth. Once proven wrong, I admit my mistake and move on.
Why do I write this, why do I spend all this time on the truth. In all honesty. I've lost a lot of friends to the truth. they remained entrenched in denial and lies. I hope that people can realize the truth sets us free. It hurts sometimes, yes. But, not as much as living in years and years of denial as I once did. Don't get me wrong, I accept the years of denial I lived in as part of life's lesson to me. to learn the true value of the truth and the value of keeping one's eyes open to reality.
One just have to be careful the belief in the truth doesn't become self defeating!! Which, is a complex way to state, I'm still learning how to value the truth, and at the same time just accept things as they are. The beauty of life, truth, reality, and simple perception for what they are as they are.
With all that said, here's my written expression... Enjoy.
It
by Graywolf32 1/25/2012
Defines my reality,
it is indisputable.
It's the facts
that take us through life.
It's what, many times,
is behind our strife.
We find ways to hide it,
deny it,
cover it up.
run away from it.
Escape, flee!!!
It floods me.
It is me.
It is who I am.
And though,
even I have lived under a veil.
Have hidden it from my view.
It has been many years
since I've seen it's beauty.
Here it is before me, it is real.
It exists whether or not,
we each see it.
It exists whether or not we
care about it.
We can have all the money
all the power
all the ability
to deny it's reality.
Yet, it floods us with shame.
For it cannot be hidden.
Yet, it floods us with pain,
for it sometimes hurts.
It floods us with insanity
for sometimes, the lies are so easy!
Most are unable to handle it.
I live in it.
Most flee me, fear uncanny ability
to see what is right in front of me.
And as I point to it,
reflect it with my being,
as I live and bask in it,
embracing it,
many others want nothing to do with it.
They run, escape, deny.
Away they fly.
It's sad.
I shed a tear for their fear.
For it's power
is in freedom.
No longer bound by lies.
No longer bound by denial.
No longer bound by some cage
where I'm filled with rage.
My embrace has freed me.
Delivered me from suffering beyond imagination.
And though, few if any can handle
the reality in which I live.
I go on.
Unwilling to give up my faith, belief, and integrity
that which I hold sacred.
It has hurt.
It has caused pain.
It has not been in vain.
I can I make this anymore plain?
We run, we sprint, as fast as we can.
We try to flee
only it is reality.
we cannot escape it's embrace.
And we will always see it's face.
So, why deny it?
Why run from it?
why not embrace it?
I sometimes don't understance
when it's really so simple.
I will always embrace it.
It has set me free, liberating me from suffering.
And it is now joy and care I bring.
this isn't just some quick fling.
It just has a familiar ring.
I embrace truth.
It's not a game.
It's not something I do in shame.
I don't care about blame.
For, I only care about what is true.
Truth, why is it so complicated?
When it's so simple.
Well, I just finished writing this, and I will say something. The harsh reality is that I've always had a knack for seeing past lies. Maybe it's just my steadfast approach to reality. I don't know. I've just always dubbed myself a realist, a believer in the truth. However, I kinda at some point overstepped and began to believe in denial and gave up my belief in the truth. I instead embraced lies, embraced abuse, and embraced everything that was not healthy for me and existed so far outside of truth that my head almost lived in another dimension. The dimension of lies.
I don't know if that makes sense. However, while my eyes were closed, while I denied the life I was living, while I lived in a veil. I thought somehow that everything was easy. I believed lie after lie. I told myself lie after lie, and when I opened my eyes... the world unraveled before me and I realized I had lived in some form of fantasy. And once again I embraced the truth. I sent the lies away from me. And now, as I look upon reality. Family, friends, and those around me, I realize, many cannot handle my embracement of honesty. It terrifies many. Causes many to run away. They flee, fearing their reflection.
I guess we all, at one point or another, grow comfortable, and even defend our own denial, embracing our entrenched lies more than reality. It's too bad. Because you know what? I'm a caring, loving, kind person. My honesty is nothing more, than a reflection of life. No, I don't go around stating brutally honest thoughts that are harmful. Nor do I go around disguising the truth. I say what's on my mind with complete respect and regard for others. I point out the things that seem obvious to me. Others, spend as much time trying to deny my perceptions. I don't embrace I'm always right. I have sincerely embraced false things that I thought were truth. Once proven wrong, I admit my mistake and move on.
Why do I write this, why do I spend all this time on the truth. In all honesty. I've lost a lot of friends to the truth. they remained entrenched in denial and lies. I hope that people can realize the truth sets us free. It hurts sometimes, yes. But, not as much as living in years and years of denial as I once did. Don't get me wrong, I accept the years of denial I lived in as part of life's lesson to me. to learn the true value of the truth and the value of keeping one's eyes open to reality.
One just have to be careful the belief in the truth doesn't become self defeating!! Which, is a complex way to state, I'm still learning how to value the truth, and at the same time just accept things as they are. The beauty of life, truth, reality, and simple perception for what they are as they are.
With all that said, here's my written expression... Enjoy.
It
by Graywolf32 1/25/2012
Defines my reality,
it is indisputable.
It's the facts
that take us through life.
It's what, many times,
is behind our strife.
We find ways to hide it,
deny it,
cover it up.
run away from it.
Escape, flee!!!
It floods me.
It is me.
It is who I am.
And though,
even I have lived under a veil.
Have hidden it from my view.
It has been many years
since I've seen it's beauty.
Here it is before me, it is real.
It exists whether or not,
we each see it.
It exists whether or not we
care about it.
We can have all the money
all the power
all the ability
to deny it's reality.
Yet, it floods us with shame.
For it cannot be hidden.
Yet, it floods us with pain,
for it sometimes hurts.
It floods us with insanity
for sometimes, the lies are so easy!
Most are unable to handle it.
I live in it.
Most flee me, fear uncanny ability
to see what is right in front of me.
And as I point to it,
reflect it with my being,
as I live and bask in it,
embracing it,
many others want nothing to do with it.
They run, escape, deny.
Away they fly.
It's sad.
I shed a tear for their fear.
For it's power
is in freedom.
No longer bound by lies.
No longer bound by denial.
No longer bound by some cage
where I'm filled with rage.
My embrace has freed me.
Delivered me from suffering beyond imagination.
And though, few if any can handle
the reality in which I live.
I go on.
Unwilling to give up my faith, belief, and integrity
that which I hold sacred.
It has hurt.
It has caused pain.
It has not been in vain.
I can I make this anymore plain?
We run, we sprint, as fast as we can.
We try to flee
only it is reality.
we cannot escape it's embrace.
And we will always see it's face.
So, why deny it?
Why run from it?
why not embrace it?
I sometimes don't understance
when it's really so simple.
I will always embrace it.
It has set me free, liberating me from suffering.
And it is now joy and care I bring.
this isn't just some quick fling.
It just has a familiar ring.
I embrace truth.
It's not a game.
It's not something I do in shame.
I don't care about blame.
For, I only care about what is true.
Truth, why is it so complicated?
When it's so simple.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
The Time is Now
It's been a while since I've written anything new. I'm actually planning on working on the novel some more this afternoon. I get a few pages in, then I get stalled on what to do next. Then I come back to it a week later and have no problems moving it forward. LOL. Strange how that works!! I'm not going to use the excuse I'm too busy to write.. LOL. Everyone is busy, but, what matters in life is what we make time for. Time for others, time for ourselves, times for friends, times for significant others. Time for family, and so on.
Anyways. I'm writing this for a special friend.
The Time is Now
by Graywolf 1/15/2012.
You're silly smile
makes me wonder how
I could have passed you up all this while.
I know there's more there.
I get the feeling we both know life hasn't been fair.
And we've both had our share.
The important thing is we've crossed paths.
And though our lights may be dim in heaven's light.
May we both know how to show each other what's right.
Whethere's only one or a hundred tomorrows
just know we have today.
And that's all the time we need to forget all the yesterdays
and quite simply play today.
There's much I look to know
there's so much more than you show.
Don't worry it doesn't matter
where we go.
Time spent, endearing affection earned.
I know I'm atypical.
A little wet behind the ears.
Lacking life's experience over the years.
You've given me a chance
To learn how to do dance.
I may step on your toes!
forgive me as I learn the beat
to this rhythm.
Help me to learn how this song goes!
I'll do my best
to be a quick study.
For it's about time, I'm ready.
I'm not a crystaline vase
nor am I wanting to play games of chase.
I'm real.
Pinch me, give me a feel.
There's nothing false about me.
I do my best to live in the today
so, join me, let's go out and play!
Let the laughter ensue!
Put away all of the yesterdays.
There's no room for them,
Not when we're through with today.
The everpresent now
is that eternal moment
where things are the way they should be.
And my friends that is what matters to me!
Anyways. I'm writing this for a special friend.
The Time is Now
by Graywolf 1/15/2012.
You're silly smile
makes me wonder how
I could have passed you up all this while.
I know there's more there.
I get the feeling we both know life hasn't been fair.
And we've both had our share.
The important thing is we've crossed paths.
And though our lights may be dim in heaven's light.
May we both know how to show each other what's right.
Whethere's only one or a hundred tomorrows
just know we have today.
And that's all the time we need to forget all the yesterdays
and quite simply play today.
There's much I look to know
there's so much more than you show.
Don't worry it doesn't matter
where we go.
Time spent, endearing affection earned.
I know I'm atypical.
A little wet behind the ears.
Lacking life's experience over the years.
You've given me a chance
To learn how to do dance.
I may step on your toes!
forgive me as I learn the beat
to this rhythm.
Help me to learn how this song goes!
I'll do my best
to be a quick study.
For it's about time, I'm ready.
I'm not a crystaline vase
nor am I wanting to play games of chase.
I'm real.
Pinch me, give me a feel.
There's nothing false about me.
I do my best to live in the today
so, join me, let's go out and play!
Let the laughter ensue!
Put away all of the yesterdays.
There's no room for them,
Not when we're through with today.
The everpresent now
is that eternal moment
where things are the way they should be.
And my friends that is what matters to me!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Updates!
Well, as promised to my friends and my readership! I've been busy! Arg! I have kept my promise of working on my novel. Not as much as I would like, but, Each week I am going to force myself to set aside time to write several pages. That's the only way it's going to get done.
So, that brings me to some random musings for the day. In the head of an author, what motivates one to write? Is it to gain a following (fame)? Fortune? Nah. Those are lofty and ambitious goals. And for some, sure, and would I be said if something I wrote made it to the NY Times Best Seller list? In a way yes, and in a way no. Why would I be sad you ask? Well, commercialized anything means corrupting the original idea / intent. Many times authors are required to edit and change their material to fit editor's demands for the publisher. That means there is room for the idea and intents to get lost. Might it be a better story, sure, but, that brings us to the true motivation of author's writing and musings.
The term "The pen is more powerful than the sword." is because ideas are dangerous and powerful. Writing one's ideas and thoughts down can be dangerous because there are others that might adopt those ideas and thoughts. I do not write to incite a revelution, nor do I write to change anyone's views on religion, politics, or anything else for that matter. I just write to get people thinking.
My other motivation is not about others, but more about me. I know, a little selfish there! Ha! For example, the novel I'm working on, I started early in my marriage 9 - 10 years ago. The main antagonist I created is a demonized woman. Hmmmm. Any parallels there? 10 years later, I ended my marriage and now write from a place of healing. So, the novel is about finding healing and good in the world after great evils have ravaged the earth. How do we recover as a race? How do we find hope amidst destruction? Within the human condition is a lot of suffering! How does the human race go forward amidst that suffering and find a place of peace, hope, and maybe even Joy in life?
This is what my novel is about and where I'm going with it. Although, it has a lot of religious context around it. I write the novel around human suffering and a few attempts by characters to overcome that suffering, to overcome differences, to overcome, prejudices, and attempt to prevail over the greatest evils the universe has ever seen.
It is maybe more epic of an idea than what I can give it full justice. However, I plan it to be the first of a series. Hopefully just a trilogy at most. I have ideas on what the second novel would be about, and that will take more of a science fiction approach to the whole religion equation.
But first, this novel. So, back to the original question why write at all. My goal, is to express the innermost part of being human. To express the human condition in words. That's all. The good, the bad, the in between. It's something that many people can relate to, it's meaningful and can be interpretted how people want to interpret it for themselves. I write poetry, short stories, and novels all for the same reason. To quite simply in brutal honesty express the Human condition.
We all, by nature, have good and bad times. We share in that a bond, being human. Most people and especially guys wouldn't admit to this depth of feeling, emotion, or humanity, I am not most guys. I found expressing myself in words is really something that comes natural to me. I have no delusions of grandeur or fame. I don't expect to stand alongside Edgar Allen Poe anytime soon. At the same time, expressing the human condition is something we all can understand, relate to, and with any luck, learn from. :)
That my friends is why I write at all.
So, that brings me to some random musings for the day. In the head of an author, what motivates one to write? Is it to gain a following (fame)? Fortune? Nah. Those are lofty and ambitious goals. And for some, sure, and would I be said if something I wrote made it to the NY Times Best Seller list? In a way yes, and in a way no. Why would I be sad you ask? Well, commercialized anything means corrupting the original idea / intent. Many times authors are required to edit and change their material to fit editor's demands for the publisher. That means there is room for the idea and intents to get lost. Might it be a better story, sure, but, that brings us to the true motivation of author's writing and musings.
The term "The pen is more powerful than the sword." is because ideas are dangerous and powerful. Writing one's ideas and thoughts down can be dangerous because there are others that might adopt those ideas and thoughts. I do not write to incite a revelution, nor do I write to change anyone's views on religion, politics, or anything else for that matter. I just write to get people thinking.
My other motivation is not about others, but more about me. I know, a little selfish there! Ha! For example, the novel I'm working on, I started early in my marriage 9 - 10 years ago. The main antagonist I created is a demonized woman. Hmmmm. Any parallels there? 10 years later, I ended my marriage and now write from a place of healing. So, the novel is about finding healing and good in the world after great evils have ravaged the earth. How do we recover as a race? How do we find hope amidst destruction? Within the human condition is a lot of suffering! How does the human race go forward amidst that suffering and find a place of peace, hope, and maybe even Joy in life?
This is what my novel is about and where I'm going with it. Although, it has a lot of religious context around it. I write the novel around human suffering and a few attempts by characters to overcome that suffering, to overcome differences, to overcome, prejudices, and attempt to prevail over the greatest evils the universe has ever seen.
It is maybe more epic of an idea than what I can give it full justice. However, I plan it to be the first of a series. Hopefully just a trilogy at most. I have ideas on what the second novel would be about, and that will take more of a science fiction approach to the whole religion equation.
But first, this novel. So, back to the original question why write at all. My goal, is to express the innermost part of being human. To express the human condition in words. That's all. The good, the bad, the in between. It's something that many people can relate to, it's meaningful and can be interpretted how people want to interpret it for themselves. I write poetry, short stories, and novels all for the same reason. To quite simply in brutal honesty express the Human condition.
We all, by nature, have good and bad times. We share in that a bond, being human. Most people and especially guys wouldn't admit to this depth of feeling, emotion, or humanity, I am not most guys. I found expressing myself in words is really something that comes natural to me. I have no delusions of grandeur or fame. I don't expect to stand alongside Edgar Allen Poe anytime soon. At the same time, expressing the human condition is something we all can understand, relate to, and with any luck, learn from. :)
That my friends is why I write at all.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
A novel idea!
Well all my followers, I wanted to fill you in, give you a taste of what I'm working on. I have decided I may be taking on two personal writing projects this year. The Zombie Wars, is too enticingly fun to pass up. I may start that next. I plan to turn it into a novel based on the Zombie Diaries short novella. I think it might be a fun idea and just a completely different twist on zombies in general. If you're going to use preexisting ideas, one must make them your own. So, this blog will help me remain accountable. One of my goals for 2012 will be to start the novel series The Zombie Wars.
My foremost goal is to finish the 234 page novel I've been working on but set aside for some time. I'm deeply inspired to continue working on it. It's a fantasized take on spiritual warfare and the spiritual battle for earth. My distaste for organized religion is somewhat present in the novel as most everything in it would be viewed as blasphemous. Well, that said, my first and foremost goal from here on out is to finish the novel. recruit some people to completely go through it and edit it for grammar, typos, misnamed people or situations that don't make sense, etc. My primary focus will be on finishing the content of the novel. I consider myself a little over halfway through the novel. And so, I want to spend a lot of time focussed on finishing it completely. getting it a title and maybe even commission some cover artwork for it. From there, print some manuscripts and maybe put it on a dusty shelf for such a time as when people would be interested in reading the twisted views I have in my head. .. :)
I want to give you, some tidbits of the novel though. Bits and pieces to pique you're curiousity.
this is just a short section that I've most recently written, I'll post some other sections throughout that are key pieces of characters etc.
Without any background this may or may not make any sense, but hey, I'm looking more at the descriptive nature of writing than at the overall plot content. ;)
My foremost goal is to finish the 234 page novel I've been working on but set aside for some time. I'm deeply inspired to continue working on it. It's a fantasized take on spiritual warfare and the spiritual battle for earth. My distaste for organized religion is somewhat present in the novel as most everything in it would be viewed as blasphemous. Well, that said, my first and foremost goal from here on out is to finish the novel. recruit some people to completely go through it and edit it for grammar, typos, misnamed people or situations that don't make sense, etc. My primary focus will be on finishing the content of the novel. I consider myself a little over halfway through the novel. And so, I want to spend a lot of time focussed on finishing it completely. getting it a title and maybe even commission some cover artwork for it. From there, print some manuscripts and maybe put it on a dusty shelf for such a time as when people would be interested in reading the twisted views I have in my head. .. :)
I want to give you, some tidbits of the novel though. Bits and pieces to pique you're curiousity.
this is just a short section that I've most recently written, I'll post some other sections throughout that are key pieces of characters etc.
Without any background this may or may not make any sense, but hey, I'm looking more at the descriptive nature of writing than at the overall plot content. ;)
There before her stood the final prize, the universes were on a convergence of one final location. The earth was the prize. A small dusty rock full of life it was unclaimed territory. Hell now, proceeded to lay its claim to the final prize. Before Christine could unleash hells fury upon the planet there was one obstacle. Surrounding the planet were new beings. Heavenly beings she had never before seen. The ancients did not reveal this knowledge to her, she was lost as to who or what they were. Surrounding the planet, were children in pale white shimmering images. Their eyes looked ancient, full of ageless knowledge. If the children had any signs of age they would all be between 7 and 12. Their age was tough to discern because of the depth of their eyes and their pale essences. They had no solidarity, they were completely opaque.
They stood unyielding before the hell horde. None spoke a word. Chris could feel the power emanating from the beings, there was nothing in her power that would surpass the power these beings held, carefully, confidently, she floated the ancient towards the beings. It’s tentacles lashing out, coming dangerously close to being in contact with the beings. She could sense the power flowing through the tentacles of the ancient one. The entire universe shook with the Ancient’s shock of the ageless souls of these beings.
Chris held on to her link to the giant blob of eyes floating through space. Her mind was linked and she could see its endless knowledge flitting through her brain. She didn’t know what power these beings held onto, but, it was beyond anything she had experienced so far.
She finally held up her hands in a show of control and leadership of the hordes behind her. “Fellow beings of ancient powers, I come before you, leading these hordes. This planet is no longer under the confluence of God’s power, and therefore is released to the powers that claim it. Let us pass for such is the time of our arrival. This planet is mine, and the contents therein will bow to me.”
The children wept in unison, then like an endless wave of spiritual energy they parted. The earth was now vulnerable.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
ode to New Years Day
It's time for something new. On this day, the first day of the first month of the 2012th year.
New Year's Day
By GrayWolf 1/1/2012.
The energy emanates from all the souls.
The hopes.
The dreams.
All raised in a single glass
all raised as one in a single vocal shout.
Every bit of our existence poured out into
one single unanonymous moment.
It was midnight on the eve of the new year.
All the energy poured out
gazing into their eyes
was so much of the fate of humanity.
Love,
hope,
fear,
rejection,
acceptance,
oh nothing was of happenstance.
Everything all around in one moment
told story of the living.
So many dreams.
So many hopes.
So much
put on the moment of one single second
in time.
The shame, pain, and guilt of the past.
The joy, happiness, and fun, of the past.
All the human existence is shoved away.
nothing brought with, only that which will last.
The hopes and dreams are renewed.
Some kissing, some embracing,
some simply raising their glasses in one
mighty shout.
As though the heavens couldn't hear the muted roar.
It was a moment in time like any other.
However it's where and when humans came together.
That maybe this year, will hold more than year's gone.
The previous year is finally done.
Now to embrace the here and now of this year.
When there's nothing to lose
there's nothing left to fear.
As the first day comes and goes.
I know not what is for me.
I hold on to nothing.
My soul is bare before the heavens.
Let not this soul be empty.
May this year, fill it with new life and hope and dreams.
May those out there.
with hearts held heavy with life.
Know that there's more than this strife.
This life is new, this year is new, and this time
it's for you!
New Year's Day
By GrayWolf 1/1/2012.
The energy emanates from all the souls.
The hopes.
The dreams.
All raised in a single glass
all raised as one in a single vocal shout.
Every bit of our existence poured out into
one single unanonymous moment.
It was midnight on the eve of the new year.
All the energy poured out
gazing into their eyes
was so much of the fate of humanity.
Love,
hope,
fear,
rejection,
acceptance,
oh nothing was of happenstance.
Everything all around in one moment
told story of the living.
So many dreams.
So many hopes.
So much
put on the moment of one single second
in time.
The shame, pain, and guilt of the past.
The joy, happiness, and fun, of the past.
All the human existence is shoved away.
nothing brought with, only that which will last.
The hopes and dreams are renewed.
Some kissing, some embracing,
some simply raising their glasses in one
mighty shout.
As though the heavens couldn't hear the muted roar.
It was a moment in time like any other.
However it's where and when humans came together.
That maybe this year, will hold more than year's gone.
The previous year is finally done.
Now to embrace the here and now of this year.
When there's nothing to lose
there's nothing left to fear.
As the first day comes and goes.
I know not what is for me.
I hold on to nothing.
My soul is bare before the heavens.
Let not this soul be empty.
May this year, fill it with new life and hope and dreams.
May those out there.
with hearts held heavy with life.
Know that there's more than this strife.
This life is new, this year is new, and this time
it's for you!
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